I Wanna Be Yours

"Chapter 15"

"I almost died today," Meredith states, slamming the shot down on the dark counter. Joe is already coming closer for a refill.

She turns to look at Derek, at how soft his eyes are, the gentle smile on his lips as he tilts up the tumbler and lets the scotch trickle down his throat. The man is handsome. Blue is definitely his color, but even the red shirt he's wearing makes him look like a sex god.

Bailey stayed for one drink, then left, deciding that she wants to be home with Tuck to celebrate her long day. Meredith is well into her tequila ritual for the night, instead, and Derek is keeping up the pace.

"You almost died today," he echoes, his voice velvety. She's sure that this voice could easily undress her without him moving a muscle, good heavens.

"It's just..." She shakes her head, drowning another shot. She's not sure how many she had, probably four? The bar is already swimming a little. "I had my hands on a bomb."

"You did. That was..."

"Idiotic?" She giggles, and he chuckles with her.

"Brave. Selfless."

"I'm nothing special, Derek." She hums, lowering her gaze when she ses his eyes twinkling and his smile widening.

"You are pretty remarkable, Dr. Grey." He smirks.

Meredith traces the rim of her shot glass, still shaking her head. Maybe she's already past her fun drunk stage and she's already in moping. Not good.

She busies herself with the peanut shells on the counter to avoid his gaze.

"I'm glad you didn't die today," he murmurs, and her eyes snap up to his when she feels his fingers close around hers.

He grabs her hand and rubs soft circles with his thumb, his eyes firmly on her. Her whole body heats up.

"Me too," she whispers back, swallowing thickly.

She wants to drink more tequila, but she can't slip her hand out of his. She can't. She turns her hand around and tangles their fingers instead, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm glad you didn't die because it would have been my fault," she murmurs.

"I decided to remain there, Meredith. I made a choice."

She shakes her head. "Why?"

"Would it have been any different if instead of a bomb it was a ditch and I had to climb down to save the guy?"

"Derek, you have David waiting for you at home, you can't be..."

"Reckless? Nobody can. I'm sure you have people who love you at home, waiting for you."

Meredith snorts, she can't help herself. "Right." She chuckles bitterly, drowning the shot.

"I'm serious. You must have someone," he repeats, but she can only lower her eyes.

She can see his face crumble. Yeah, nobody expects a successful neurosurgeon to be completely alone, she knows the drill.

"My mom hugged me." She offers as consolation for him, adding a shrug. "Ellis Grey hugged me."

"Meredith, if something like that happened to David I would hug the shit out of him, even if he freaks out."

"You're not Ellis Grey." She shakes her head, signaling Joe for more tequila.

"Meredith, she has her own way to show it, but she loves you."

"Derek, I'm the turkey leftovers from Thanksgiving," she says bitterly, drowning her tequila. "God, you love turkey, you crave turkey, and then you can't see turkey until Christmas because that's all you've been eating for a week. I'm not...she loves Maggie and Richard, but me? I'm not so sure she always loves me."