I Wanna Be Yours

"Chapter 16"

Meredith spots Derek Shepherd walking in the interns' locker room, joking with his fellow interns, carrying a backpack and looking deliciously yummy.

Almost as if it were muscle memory, her brain recalls that she has seen him naked. Very naked. Gloriously naked. The man should walk around naked.

His eyes meet hers and she blushes. Like a freaking schoolgirl.

Oh, boy, she's in deep.

She ducks around a corner, feeling lame. She's an attending, she should know better. She should exercise her power.

She grabs a chart from the nurses' station, instead, and analyzes it if she were the intern on the case.

Berta Moreno, thirty-four. Brought in the ER last night with a tumor pressing on her Broca's area. Suffers from speech impairments and some difficulties swallowing.

"Good morning, Berta, I'm Dr. Grey," she greets, smiling softly. The woman looks so tiny and fragile in the hospital bed, her black hair contrasting sharply with the pillowcase.

"H'llo," she whispers, falling mute afterwards.

The room is completely empty. No flowers, no cards, no people at her bedside. Meredith's heart squeezes in her chest. Berta has a long recovery ahead of her, and nobody to support her.

Her eyes sweep over the chart, her throat constricting when she sees that the tumor originated in her uterus instead, and metastasized. The uterus that was carrying a baby at the time of the diagnosis, two years prior. She swallows thickly.

"We're going to run a few more scans and labs this morning, okay? Sit tight."

"'Kay."

"We know you'll probably need surgery soon, is there anyone we need to call?"

Berta shakes her head firmly, her eyes filling with tears. "Gone. All gone. Murió Manuel y all gone."

"Okay." She swallows, taking a deep breath, pushing back the memories. "We'll take care of you, Berta, you will be okay."

"Gracias."

Meredith nods, exiting the room swiftly, before it gets to her. She sits down on a chair at the nurses' desk as she orders the tests, her hand shaking slightly as she writes.

Her heart stops when she notices the date. And then she remembers the rush she was in this morning, and the fact that she's been practically on autopilot up until now. Now, when her brain finally registers that it's September sixteen, and it's been six years. Six freaking years.

"Dr. Grey." A voice startles her, and she practically jumps in her chair. She looks up to meet the sharp eyes of Dr. Yang. "I'm your intern for the day."

Part of her is glad Berta will have a good intern like Dr. Yang. She's probably one of the best in her class. Berta deserves the best. And she has no idea how she could have handled Shepherd today, of all days.

She hands Dr. Yang the chart, watching as her eyes light up at the prospect of a cool surgery, even though Meredith knows she'd gladly be in Cardio. "Run labs, CT, MRI, then book an OR for tonight after my shunt."

"Tumor's coming out?"

"We'll take it out."

Dr. Yang practically skips down to Berta's room, leaving her to her thoughts. Her dark place. Her rock bottom. Six years of could-have-beens. Six years.

She hears a code blue being called for Berta's room and she rushes there, watching as Dr. Yang is already working the code. Berta's limp body is shocked twice before her heart starts beating again.