In July

18. Saturday

Ana

Sunlight filled the room, it was Saturday. I couldn't believe I spent the night here. This was so much better than staying at a dorm or staying at my mom's big empty house. My chest felt full, looking at him sleeping so peacefully. He talks in his sleep, I couldn't understand his gibberish, but he seemed sad. We slept naked, I fumbled around looking for something to wear in the pile of clothes on the floor next to the bed. I put on his tee-shirt, which fit me like a grandma's night gown. It was pretty chilly, so I put on some socks and turned on an electric heater he had next to his dresser. I checked my phone. 

Missed Call: Mami

What could she possibly want? She only ever comes back to town when she's not working or with some boyfriend. She only ever wants me around during the holidays to bring me to her work events so I can make her look good. She keeps saying "Someday this will all be yours!". I don't want to be at work 23 hours a day doing god knows what, sucking off god knows who just to prove that I'm not a fuck up.

 I sat at the edge of the bed, scrolling through Instagram. Apparently, people are into showing off their ribcage in bikini pics now. I've always felt fine with my body shape until I was with Chris. It felt like he hated everything about me, so I started to hate everything about myself too. When you hate yourself, it's kind of hard to see that you deserve better, even if better means alone. Between Chris and my mom, I was always alone anyway.

Julio

She was sitting at the edge of the bed, looking at the wall, zoned out. I reached my arms out and pulled her into bed.

 "Good morning!", I planted kisses all over her face. 

"Actually, it's 1:30. So good afternoon.", she smiled and kissed my shoulder. 

"It's so cold!", we sunk into the sheets, "You busy today?".

"It's Saturday,  Jay."

I assumed that meant she was free. "A little feisty today, aren't we? I think SOMEBODY might be a little hangry."

She smiled, looking up at me with her big beautiful eyes. Even her dark circles are fucking adorable.

"You go shower, I'll make us some breakfast. There's extra toothbrushes and towels in the closet." She gave me a quick squeeze and bounced out of bed. I got up and put on some sweatpants I found on the floor and we walked out of my room. She looked so cute in my tee-shirt, it went all the way to her knees. We walked downstairs, Ana locked the bathroom door behind her. I took out some pancake mix, you know the kind where you just add water. I made the batter and set up the coffee maker. I'm not the best cook, but maybe if I make her breakfast we can just chill here for a little while longer.

Ana

I opened the closet, reached for a brown fuzzy towel and a toothbrush. I looked for soap but all I saw was some 3 in 1 shower gel/shampoo/conditioner. Gross. But for today, it will have to do. I took off Jay's socks and tee-shirt, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My hair was a wreck, but last night was so worth it.

 In this lighting, my boobs didn't look half bad. I rarely looked at myself fully nude, I didn't hate what I saw, it just made me uncomfortable. But something about today made me feel comfortable. I stepped in the shower, washing my body with this gross goopy 3 in 1 bullshit. I wet my hair just enough to put it back in a proper bun. My body felt different today. I felt...sexy.Wanted. Desired. Cared for.