Gangster in love (Rosé x female reader)

34

There's nothing. It's endless. A yawning chasm, stretching out further and further until there's nothing but blank space.

"This can't be happening."

My own voice sounds faint. It's like hearing myself through a tin-can telephone. Rosie would never leave me. This has to be a mistake. Maybe someone hot wired the car, but that wouldn't explain Roseanne's gun right there in front of me. For an instant, I think maybe Roseanne herself was kidnapped alongside her precious car... Yeah, as if anyone could take Rosie against her will. I almost star giggling hysterically at the mental image. So I clap both my hands over my mouth, trembling uncontrollably as my eyes start to burn. She did it. She actually left me behind.

As much as I want to, there's no time to give in despair. I suck it up, literally, and take a huge breath until I stop hyperventilating. I take her gun, sprinting away from the docks. There's a chance Roseanne might come back, but I can't hang around where Jungkook's gang might stumble upon me. Think. Calm down and work your way through this, Superbrain. But my memory quirk is just, a quirk. It doesn't make me smarter than other people, doesn't make me tougher. "Where the hell do I go?" All i can think of is how much I want to be home, with Roseanne. She's the only person who can always cheer me up. Roseanne believes in me, gambles millions of dollars on me because she KNOWS i'm special. "It's gonna be a long walk..." I try to focus on that, taking one dogged step after another as I trudge just past the highway.

Dropped my phone after calling Lisa... Can't call a cab, cant call the gang... My face burns with shame at the thought. Slowing my steps, I pause, listening to the night time noises of the black ocean next to me. "What am I going to say when I get there." What if Roseanne isn't there? Or worse, she IS, and pretends nothing happened? Of all I things, I remember Jimin. That irritating grin, predicting this situation in so many words. Roseanne doesn't need me right now, so she tossed me aside. "No matter which way you slice it, that's what happened."

Fury hardens my heart and I start walking again, heading towards the mansion, if for no other reason than to pack my bags and leave. "I guess trying to hitchhike is out of the question." The roads are empty, almost disturbingly so. And I don't want to risk the occasional car that roars by- Until one screeches to halt, so hard the tires mark the road. All I can see are burning red brake lights until it furiously reverses, sloppily parking just a few feet from me.

"Y/N?!"

Roseanne leaves the engine running, hopping over the back seat and skidding past the trunk to run over to me.

"Roseanne?!"

"Oh, thank god! I was looking everywhere for you!"

My ribs threaten to crack from how hard she hugs me, nearly knocking me over the guardrail and onto the beach below. She holds me at arm's length, smiling so brilliantly that I can't help but stammer. "I- I was looking for you, too!" There's a split second of happiness, bliss as she holds me and kisses me over and over again. "I'm so sorry, I went back but you were gone, and then I thought maybe Jungkook gad taken you so I was gonna get the gang-"

Wait.

I push her further away from me, anger storming back into me like a storm cloud. "You left me!" I expect an excuse, a real reason. Even now I hold out hope that this is all just some huge misunderstanding, that U should have more faith in Roseanne.

"...I...didn't mean to."

My vision goes red.

"Oh, okay! You didn't mean to! That makes it all better, right?!"

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I can't believe you, Rosie! I don't even know what to say right now."

"Come on, you weren't there when I went back. This wouldn't have happened if-"

"No, this wouldn't have happened if you had just LISTENED to me. You abandoned me! Do you have any idea what that feels like?!" We both freeze. But then I plow ahead, absolutely lvivd. She out of all people should know better! How could she do this to me!?

"Now I understand why Jisoo wanted you out of here-" Because you only care about what YOU want and you don't care who you hurt to get it! Her expression drops faster than a steel trap. Perfectly neutral, Roseanne stares blankly at me, waiting. My head is still throbbing, my blood hot. In this moment. I realise the only this I want to do is to hurt her.
"..." I take a deep breath, closing my eyes and exhaling slowly. "Take me home." Arms crossed, I march around her and plant myself in the backseat. Roseanne doesn't say another word, driving me away.

The mansion doesn't bring me any peace. I see the glittering lights and my stomach sours. Turning around, Roseanne lifts her eyebrows up. I cut her off before she can ask any questions. "I don't even want to look at your face right now." Hopping out of the car, I veer away from the front door and head towards the cabanas. The clean white linen is cool against my heated skin. I lie on my back, hand hanging off the side as I glare angrily up at the roof. The idea of going inside and facing Roseanne keeps me out for hours. I'm too tired to do anything except stew.
Clicking ails and heavy steps alert me to Nox's presence, excited to see me home. "Over here, boy." I absentmindedly stroke his head, letting him hop up onto the cabana with me. My dog rests his head on my lap and sighs in contentment.

"Hey."

Sitting up at the sound of Roseanne's voice, I try to muster up something other than a glare for her. "Went out and got this." She tosses me a phone, and I catch it with one hand. "Found your other one broken at the docks." "Thanks." My voice is curt, and we don't say anything else. Awkward silence fills the air, and Roseanne starts fidgeting. "Just wanted to tell you the room's all yours." She sounds tired. "I'll bunk in the casino downstairs, so you don't have to stay out here to avoid me." "..."

Shrugging, Roseanne turns to leave. It hurts.

This isn't helping either of us.

My heart lurches, agonising. Moving quickly, I get off the cabana, grabbing her by the wrist before she can take another step. "No." Stepping closer, I wrap my arms around her waist, my face pressed to the centre of her back. "I cannot sleep in that big bed without you."  Roseanne turns around so that she can hug me properly. Being held like this makes most of my tension melt away, Roseanne's love washing all over me in waves. "It's whatever you want, love. Just let me know."

My anger is a thin shell. I think I knew it, too, knew that the second I relaxed it would shatter just like this. Uncontrollably, my body shakes. I fight it with every finer of my being, trying not to lose it, not to show weakness. "Rosie..." Roseanne tilts my head up. Her lips are impossibly soft, my name a whisper against my mouth. It all comes spilling out and I start to cry, chest hitching with sobs, harder than I've cried in years. "Please don't leave me alone again." Her arms lock tight around me, palms stroking the centre of my back. The tears just won't stop no matter how hard I fight. "I won't. I'm sorry... God, I'm so sorry." She lets me cry, understanding that it's more than what happened today. It's like I'm bleeding dry, alternating between fury and pent-up sadness, everything I need dare express. "I don't know what to say to fix this..." I hiccup, still stuck to her. She wipes at my tears ad best as she can, kissing me and murmuring sweet nothings into my ear.

"Do you still love me?" She sounds genuinely worried, but prepared for whatever answer. "I do love you. Im mad at you but I still love you as much as I cant stand it." Stepping back, I rub my face on my sleeves, trying to keep it together. "Tell me it'll never happen again." "It won't. Not even as an accident., She doesn't pause to think, earnestly taking both my hands in hers.

"After my parent... There wake no one, do you understand? I didn't have anyone. Everyone else is dead, or gone, and there's nobody I can trust to not hurt me anymore. Not even you."

"No. I CAN be that person for you. I'll clean up my act. No more crazy stunts, and no more drinking either. I'll prove it to you, somehow." She promises me, kissing my forehead. I let her hold me again, exhausted from my tears. "I don't know how, but I will."

school gives me cancer bye🥴