𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭| 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 |𝟏𝟖+

Chapter 8 | You can't blame me darling

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|Dear Diary,
It's been 3 weeks since I've had that unplesant run up with Victor in the gym. I've been avoiding him ever since, just like Demetrios had ordered me to.|

I write those words in my leather diary that Ana got me few days ago. She said that I should try to express my feelings and write them down as much as I'm able to, otherwise, and I quote, my mind will eat me alive.

|As for Dimitri, I've barely seen him either in those 3 weeks. He must have been skipping breakfast or eating at different time, because there was no sing of him in the dinning room. Then after 1 week I switched sections from kitchen/dinning room area to doing chores like washing clothes, ironing and cleaning rooms, so I haven't seen him at all.
I've been thinking a lot about the words he said to me that day. Still hadn't figured it out what he meant with his Maxim comments. . . I don't know what's happening in his head, but I can asure everyone that I have completely no intention of getting romantically involved with anyone here. They're all murderers, I could never fall for any of them. Those kinds of persons are not really my type, if you get what I'm saying.
Well, anyway, I took his advice and tried to stay as far away from them as possible. There is just one tiny little problem, apperantly they can't stay away from me. I'm still getting dirty comments and looks as I'm working or walking through corridors. I'm not saying all of them are trash minded assholes, but most of them really are. Still, their comments I can handle, so it's not so bad working as a maid. At least not with my privelege, which is being off limits, without that I could never make it, I'd probably be dead already.| I move the fountain pen against the paper, my heart already beating faster as I think about further life in captivity.

|But, what scares me the most is what he said at the end. He can't wait to sell me and just the thought of being sold makes me sick. Don't get me wrong, I hate living here, that hasn't changed in those weeks. It hurts me that I'm not free. At least with Marcus I had a chance of running away, but here? Here it's impossible. Here I can just do my job as a maid and slowly wait until the day that I'll be sold comes. I'd love to leave this place, there is no doubt, but unfortunately I know that wherever he's gonna sell me it's going to be much worse. Ana won't be there. I'll be all alone.|

And I know that I won't survive all alone.

|I can feel that I'm gonna leave here soon. Some time has passed and my bruises almost completely faded away. I don't have to take painkillers anymore, it's doesn't hurt now.
Yet, my happiness of my bruises fading is walking hand to hand with my downfall. My skin is clear now which means there is nothing preventing him to sell me anymore. I've also been forcing myself to eat more and I started training a little with Ana, so that I could get stronger. And, well, it's working, some of my curves and muscles have returned on my body which is great. I'm slowly starting to look like my old self again.|

Only that my eyes are still dead.

I decide not to write it down. I mean what's the point of all this? Isn't it bad enough to think about being sold, must I write about it too?

I close the diary and put it on my night table. Then I throw myself on the bed and cover my face with one if the pillows. I take a deep breath and decide to do what I'm doing perfectly the passed few weeks - pretend that I'm free somewhere far far away from here. It's nearly 7pm and it's friday, I'm free for this evening.

"Caaaaali!"

What the- A scream wakes me from my thoughts, I remove the pillow, my body jumps from my bed as the doors flash open.