Some Say You're Lost-TaegixVmin

Part 18

Yoongi ignored the ache in his chest as he looked to the calendar, pretending the date meant nothing. Pretending that his heart wasn't hurting. Because he wasn't, not at all.

He paused when he realized what the date also meant for Taehyung, who he hadn't seen yet this morning, though it was inching towards 10.

"Taehyung?" He called, slightly anxious. He ran back up the stairs he had just came down and went right to Taehyung's room, "Tae?"

He knocked loudly, hoping Taehyung was just sleeping. If he was, then he wouldn't know what day it was yet and Yoongi would hopefully have a chance to stop the panic attack he assumed would follow the realization that it was indeed Jimin's birthday, and the day Taehyung found out he was dead.

"Tae?" He called again, before he opened the, thankfully, unlocked door, and cursed to himself.

Taehyung's head was rested on his knees, which were tightly tucked into his chest, on the floor in the corner of the room. His shoulders shook heavily, and his arms tore at his hair and clothes.

Yoongi shut the door, the loud click following the action making Taehyung's head snap up.

"H-Hyung," Taehyung's eyes were red and swollen, his cheeks covered in tears, "It-it h-hurts."

Ever the awkward one, Yoongi sat down next to the younger and began patting his back, not knowing what to do.

"It'll be okay, Taehyung-ah. I promise, it'll be fine," Yoongi muttered.

"He-he's g-gone-"

"Shh," Yoongi pulled Taehyung slightly, making the brunettes head rest on his chest, "it's okay. It's okay. Everything's fine, i-it's okay."

He cleared his throat hurriedly when he felt tears well up in his eye. He was an assassin for fucks sake, it's not like he had feelings.

"H-Hyung," Taehyung sniffled, once he calmed down a little, "It's-its not okay."

"I know."

"Ho-how?" Taehyung's tone was slightly accusing, like he couldn't believe Yoongi could go through anything remotely the same as he.

Yoongi let his hand run through Taehyung's hair, "I had a best friend. I had known him since I was 3. We only ever saw each other a few times a year, but he was still my best friend. And then one day, he fell in love, and pretty much forgot about me. He came to see me a couple of times still, but it was mostly because he had business. He died on one of his trips. Someone hired a guy to do it. Even if we weren't all that close when he died, he was still my best friend, you know? He was still the reason I didn't end up dead in a ditch. I miss him a lot."

Taehyung's sniffles occupied the otherwise silent room. Yoongi sighed as he leaned his head back against the wall, biting his tongue in a futile attempt to not cry. He always tried though.

"I'm sorry." Taehyung muttered, "That really sucks."

Yoongi snorted, "Yeah. It does. Your thing sucks too."

The younger shook his head with a quick, almost sarcastic laugh, "Yeah. It does."

"Now how do you wanna do this?" Yoongi asked, staring at the ceiling. Taehyung couldn't know he was crying, "Do you wanna sit here and talk, or do you want to go out and do something?"

"I'd like....I'd like to talk," Taehyung hesitated, "B-but I haven't-I haven't ever talked about it. Not really. I'd like to though."

"That's okay. Neither have I."

Taehyung took a deep breath and pushed himself so he could lean on Yoongi's shoulder, "He used to cook for me. He would-" he paused to laugh briefly, barely there, "he would always wear this stupid apron. It wasn't even one of those "kiss the cook" ones, it was one our friend bought and it was beyond hideous. But it made me laugh, so he wore it. And I've always been shit at cooking, so he didn't complain. He put the apron on, and cooked. He was shit too, when we first moved in together."

"Did he take lessons?" Yoongi interrupted quietly. Jimin used to talk about taking cooking lessons. He always said that he would need to be a wonderful cook so he could take care of his future partner.

"I honestly don't know. I came home one day, after failing an exam, to a 4 course meal on our tiny kitchen table. I thought he bought it, but he wasn't someone to lie, so when he said he made it, I believed him. And then he made breakfast the next morning, and lunch, and it turned to him cooking all of the meals."

"What do you do now?"

Taehyung shrugged, "I can't cook well. I grab whatever's in my fridge if I'm hungry. Jungkookie buys me takeout sometimes, or makes me a meal."

"I bought takeout a lot," Yoongi mumbled, "I can cook, it just took up too much energy, you know?"

"Yeah, one of the reasons I never bothered, too much work."

Yoongi jolted slightly when Taehyung shifted, leaning most of his weight onto the elder's body.

"Ji-" Taehyung paused, and blinked quickly to stop the tears, "Jim-Jimin was the best boyfriend I could've ever asked for. I-I know I should be thankful that I had him in th first place, but we were so young, I-I need more time with him. It wasn't enough."

"It never will be. It could feel like years when you're together, but it feels like seconds when they're gone."

Taehyung rubbed at his swollen eyes tiredly, having stayed up most of the night crying. He didn't mind when he began dozing off on Yoongi's shoulder, he let it happen.

Yoongi looked down at the small snores, internally laughing to himself. He swallowed harshly when a tear landed on Taehyung's head, still not used to crying.

With a heavy sigh, Yoongi struggled slightly to lift Taehyung up and place him back on the bed in the middle of the room. He tucked the blankets over the younger and shut the curtains, shoulders sagging heavily. God he was sick of feeling things.

Yoongi was about to shut the door when Taehyung's phone went off from one of his nightstands, so he tip-toed over and pocketed it, making sure Taehyung didn't wake up.

He angrily wiped his face as the door closed, trying desperately to get back into the mindset he needed to be in for his assignment tonight.

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