Fix Me

Lost and Found

I slowly make my way to the door. I realize it doesn't have a peep hole so I am forced to open the damn thing.

I find myself hoping it is my father. To hold me and tell that everything will be okay.

But it isn't. It never wil be.

What if It's Ashton? I won't know what to say? He probably hates me. But if he did then why would he be here?

I don't even know if it's him.

Just open the damn door!

"Tin." I was right. It's Ash. He's definitely been up for hours. He looks so pale and weak. I can see he has been crying as well.

"What have I done to you?" I whimper as I crash in to him.

"Nothing bub, this is all my doing. I plan to make it better. To get us back to how we were."

"I don't know if that is possible, being how we were before, anyway."

"Of course it is possible. Don't you see? I know this is probably going to sound crazy but I feel like I survived for a reason. Like, I am here because you and I are two pebbles trapped under the huge boulders and the only way out is with each other. I love you so fucking much and I can't explain in any amount of fucking words how much you mean to me. How much I need you. YOU! Not any other fucking person in this world... just you."

"Maybe I don't want us how we were. We weren't exactly the happiest. I mean I was but you weren't or else you wouldn't have turned to that shit."

"I was happy with you, I was just unhappy with everything else in my life. More my past than anything. It was all so crazy and hard to escape. You had nothing to do with that horrible choice. You made it better in a way and I see that now. I realize that now. I finally see how much you mean to me and how much I need you. I almost left you behind and that was selfish of me and I will never do it again."

I can see he really means what he is saying. It is almost as if I can feel his words running through my body. The truth is ringing in my ears.

I move a bit closer to him as he sit on the edge of the bed. I pull his head from his hands and bring his face to mine. I look deep into those beautiful hazel eyes of his and kiss him.

Our first kiss in two weeks and it felt perfect. Like it was a piece of my body that needed to be put back in its place. It is so hard to explain the feeling I get when I am with him.

"I was the selfish one, Ashton. I shouldn't have left you. I should have handled my emotions better and been a better girlfriend and friend for that matter. You needed me. You stood there in front of me and asked me to stay. You needed me and I left because I couldn't handle it. ME. But really, I could have. I just needed to stay and prove it to myself but I didn't and for that I am eternally sorry. I'm a horrible person."

"No, no, no baby," He kneels on the floor looking up at me hands still holding me, "you were just confused. You have had so many troubles the past few years and couldn't stand to watch another thing you loved leave this world. You aren't selfish, baby."

"But I left..."

"You left because you were scared. I forgive you. You are forgiven, love. I am fine now. We are going to get passed this. It will be okay. WE will be okay."

He held me for the rest of the night. He told me about how some nurse had been the biggest influence for him to come after me. The story was quite sweet. I told him about my drunk two weeks. Which wasn't much to tell... because I was drunk and couldn't remember a damn thing. Which we laughed about.

These are the things I look forward to the most. Strange as it sounds, but they are. I love that we can get passed things that are so big and so horrible, yet we are perfectly us in the end.

After about three hours of nonsense Ash fell asleep. His sweet hazel eyes closing ever so gently. His cute scruffy chin nuzzled in my neck. Giving me a soft kiss before dozing off. Our legs intertwined the way I liked. His arms around me and mine on his waist.

Tracing circles on my back he opens his eyes one last time and whispers, "I love you and I'm sorry."

"I love you, too, baby. Now go to sleep. I'll see you when you wake up." I get up and walk over to the door and lock it. I brush my teeth and my hair and put on a t and take my bra off. I climb back in to bed with Ashton and fall fast asleep.

** The next morning Ash's POV**

Waking up next to Tinleigh was a grand feeling. It felt like an eternity had gone in the amount of time we spent away from each other. I'm just glad we are back to us. Well, it has only been about ten hours but I know we will be okay.