Through My Eyes.

The Quiet

I hate the quiet...
when the voices decided to whisper...
when my mind starts to wonder..
I try so hard to avoid it...
The quiet reminds me..
of being alone
of the sound of foot steps against carpet at night...
of doors bang open..
Of being to scared to sleep..
Of being in fear of what I might wake up to.
I hate the quiet...

So I fill the silence with noise.. something stupid on TV...
turn my headphones up until my ears nearly bleed...
Hoping...
simply hoping..
that the noise will power out the quiet
so I can simply breath.
Because the quiet tells me..
I'm not wanted...
I'm a burden....
it's my fault....
The quiet..
sits on my chest laughing
as it watches
as I struggle to breath.
So I walk the town
  because I can't sleep...
Because it's too quiet
Because of the dreams..
The darkness doesn't bother me.
It welcomes me like an old friend but when it's quiet...
that's when I fear the darkness..
I hate the quiet...
because it only reminds me..
of the secrets I'm bound to keep..
the things they can't know..
for fear of thing that no longer matter
but I can't speak..
so I sit in the quiet
with tears rolling down my cheek because the quiet has been suffocating me
since I learned how to speak.
The secrets are like bars and chains confining me
  with a gag around my mouth....
just incase....
Forcing me to live in the quiet.
I look at you
I want to scream
because I know how you feel
but until I can tell you everything... I'm sorry doesn't mean anything. Until I can fight the silence..
scream about the things that whisper in the quiet..
the evil that I can't tell you a thing about.
So I sit and I watch you...
hope you are happy...
because I depend on you
to be the noise..
The shelter..
The sheild..
when the quiet decides to scream...