Through My Eyes.

I hate you

I hate you..
I will never tell you
But I do
I hate you..
I hate The way...
you play the victim
Even when it's been thirty years
I hate The way...
everyone is more important...
But I'm always there.
I hate The way...
I couldn't leave you
But you left me everyday..
With addicts who try to kill me..
But don't worry..
The other mothers on the way..
I hate the way..
You love me..
Only when it's convient..
Only when other people can see..
I hate the way...
I can't leave you..
Even when staying..
Is killing me..
I hate the way..
I love you
so true and unmoving..
Because at the end of the day..
Let face it mom,
You needed me more than I needed you.
I hate the way..
That I lay in bed at night
Crying myself to sleep
Because I wasn't enough
I hate the inadequacy
When I look at you
Because let's face it mom
You've said it
I'm the better version of you.
I hate the fact
People mistake us as sisters
Or the way you hang on to me
around my peers
I hate the fact
that you needed me..
Because that's all I'll ever be...
The rock..
The wall..
The safe place...
I'm always almost everything you needed
And I didn't mind
Because you needed me.
But where were you when
I was locked in the bathroom
With husband number three
Trying to kill me
Where were you when
I was scared to sleep because HE was abusing me?
You were at work..
A concert.
A bar...
Don't worry...
It doesn't matter
I made it in the end
Because the other mother
Saved my life.
While you were busy
Working..
Drinking..
Out with friends