Little Secrets

12

Bucky's POV:

Steve comes to me as we're ready to take down HYDRA bases. Breaking into bases, knocking doors down. I just want her...

I just want my Annie. But I have to act like I don't care, because Steve tells me that I'm being pathetic.

I sob to myself at night, without her, I don't know what I'm doing. She was my life. And now my life is basically over.

Without Antonia, I'm lost... I'm nothing.

I want to write a letter to her, I'm in my bunker ready for one of our biggest missions later.

Dear Antonia,
My love...

No no no...

Dear Antonia,
I'm sorry, I wish that I could've saved you, you were my only hope of happiness. I lost my parents, my sister isn't around anymore, Steve isn't like himself. He thinks that I should be over it. That people are dying everyday because of the war.

Am I being selfish?

I just want you back, nobody should be dying but he says I'm selfish for being too obsessed with you...

With you my darling...

I love you...

And I can't get you back, I couldn't save you. I'm a terrible husband, lover, best friend.

I couldn't save... I couldn't save you... In all my life, I couldn't save you.

Antonia Jessie Stark. Well Barnes. I always thought that, no matter what happened I would always be there for you. I guess I was right. I don't regret falling in love with you as it's the best decisions of my life. Annie, my eyes open each morning and see someone who makes my day better by just the sight of you. I'm sure you know that I admire you all the time. I can't take my eyes off you. Mi amor, everything goes they way we like. Things may go wrong in the future, but never forget that I will always be here. I'm with you til the end of the line. I love you, always and forever. My darling.

Remember my darling? My vows? I remember yours too.

James Buchanan Barnes... I didn't expect to be standing here today. Many particular events but many of which you saved me in. Some others saved me in" she turns back to Howard for a brief second. "But I will always know that you'll be my saviour. Many people will think that were too young to get married, we're only 20. But who knows, it's 1936 we may have another way in a few years. I don't hope so though. I remember when we were teenagers and you held me when I felt like I was dying. After I was stabbed in the alley way. You saved me but I thought it was the end. And you knew what I was thinking, your words always stick with me. 'Whatever our souls are made of, ours are the same'. It felt like you was saying that you loved me and I knew I loved you. You helped me fight. So thank you James. I'm with you til the end of the line. All my love, always and forever

"Buck" a voice stops me from continuing to write. I look up, it's Steve. "We're ready?" I slowly look back down at my paper and nod.

I write my last message.

You were my forever darling.

I love you.
All my love, Always and forever

-James Buchanan (Bucky) Barnes

I put the letter in an envelope, I write her name:

Antonia Stark-Barnes

I want to give it to Howard and put in in her box. She always puts my letter in her box.

"BUCKY! NOW!" Steve yells. I flinch at his sudden aggression. "Yeah" I say in a low voice. I slowly get up, grab my equipment and my letter. "I just need to send this to Howard." I sigh. He nods and exits my bunker.