Little Secrets

6

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I feel a set of eyes roaming my face. The weight is heavy. Best guesses, James. "You're still staring" I announce, I feel him jump back slightly. I giggle. "Calm down Buck, no need to shit yourself." Bucky sarcastically laughs. His index finger and thumb gently tilts my head so I look into his gorgeous glowing eyes. "I don't want to say goodbye..." He whispers. "I don't want to leave you"

My heart breaks, I don't want him to leave either. But we both have our jobs. "I know..." I sniffle. I hold back my tears trying not to sob. I love James, I can tell he does too.

His ocean eyes always look at me with love. I feel the love always. I could never feel safer with anyone other than Bucky, but being away from him, I have protect myself now.

He pulls me into a deeper hug. My head rests in the crook of his neck, I still hold back my tears. "But we need to get up, I leave at 11...it's 10. We're meeting Steve in 30..." he whispers kissing my head occasionally. "I'm going to be alright. You're fighting too though bubba... you'll be on the battle field more than me. But I don't have to worry about you because you're so strong" I chuckle at his response, sniffing to unblock my sad little nose.

"You're trying not to cry aren't you doll" Bucky chuckles pushing me to sit up and look at him in the eye. I know he has to leave though, or else, the army would come and take him themselves. They'd shoot him for cowardice. But I can't do anything about it or they'll probably shoot me too.

"Princess?" His gentle thumb caresses my cheek under my eye, removing a shadow tear that fell the night before. I look up at the gentle sea green globes that watch over my face, looking for any sort of emotion. I smile gently humming in response. His head turns to the side and I see his strong facial structures tense.

He clenched his jaw in sorrow and anxiety. "Wh-what if I don't make it b-back?" He stutters. My heart drops. My stomach stops doing somersaults and I feel as I'm about to be sick. My hands instantly go to his face and I shake my head vigorously. "Hey, no no no...don't say that...please don't say that... I don't wanna think about that sweetie." My lip quivers however I still hold back my tears.

"The war will end, you're going to come home...we're both going to come home. We're going to have a kid, maybe more. I wanna have a baby. With you. Because you're my Bucky. I want to have your kids. Yeah? We're going to grow old, watch our kids grow, our grandchildren. We're going to watch Steve get married. We're going to be aunt and uncle to Steve's children. You're going to come back. You're going to come home. We're both going to come home" I panic. I begin to rumble on not knowing what the hell I'm saying. I'm just staring into the ocean eyes.

They resemble the ocean so much, if you stare into his gorgeous eyes for too long you'd see the whole sea nature, the vibrant corals that place themselves individually within his eyes; the glossy blue that reflects the ocean itself; however the darkness- that swallows him. It references his pain that may not even exist as we speak, his suffering that he hasn't lived yet- that nobody knows or has discovered. Maybe this war will fill the darkness in his eyes.

He looks at me in shock. "You want to have my kids? A baby?" He asks shocked. I smile at him and nod gently. "I wanna grow old with you Barnes. I wanna be yelling at you when I'm saying I love you when you think I'm saying omelettes" he chuckles with a few vacant tears strolling down his face. I sniffle attempting not to sob into his chest.

"Doll?" He whispers stroking my jawline, he stares into my fiery eyes waiting for me to give in and sob. My chest rises quickly however not too quickly I'm hyperventilating...