Little Secrets

13

Steve's pov:

I sit in the destroyed bar as I down the alcohol. I wish I could get drunk. Drown out Bucky. I hear someone enter. "I've been looking for you" Peggy states.

"Yeah?" I cough. "The serum didn't just affect my muscles it's affected me so... I can't get drunk..."

"Yeah, Howard said that could be...on of the side affects. It's not your fault you know... you tried to save them" Peggy states. I look at her confused.

"Them? No. Bucky. And Bucky can't- couldn't understand that Antonia wasn't anything to cry over. He couldn't get over her" I pull on my hair.

"STEVEN ROGERS! Sergeant Barnes was in love with her. His best friend, your best friend. You were all friends! And you are being incredibly selfish that you are unable to understand the pain that he went through! You didn't go back for Antonia, you didn't catch her. Now you've lost them both. You couldn't save them. Bucky was in pain, and you criticised him for it. I could see his pain. You hear him crying constantly. He was in pain. So yes she was someone to cry over because she's changed millions of lives, including your best friends and my own. And if she didn't change yours even though you were best friends and married to Bucky then...that's your problem. And I am unable to understand how insanely ignorant you are towards her death." She begins to sob.

I don't know what to say.

"It's my fault" I cry. "Steve..." she says

"Did you read the chart ?" I ask. She nods. "Then you know it's true. I killed Bucky. And don't you say that I'm being ignorant about Antonia. She's just spoilt and thinks she owns the world. I'm just a kid from Brooklyn." I chuckle.

"So was she" Peggy states standing up and walking away.

Peggys pov:

I walk away from Steve as I am unable to be near Steve due to his point of view of Antonia's death.

He doesn't even care...

How can he not care about Antonia...

Due to my frustration, I go Howard but as I'm about to enter his office I hear him scream and he sobs. It hits my chest...

I open the door slowly and see him with things everywhere. Paper, pens just... the room is like it's been flipped upside down.

"Howard..." I say lowly and slowly. He looks at me and sobs agains. He brings his knees to his chest as he sits against the wall. "I-I can't! I CAN'T!! STEVE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HER!! I just... I can't... I can't do this" His sobs sound too painful so I rush to him, "Howard" I pull him to a hug and he sobs into my shoulder.

"She was my little sister..." he's hurt. He's always been hurt...

"I don't know why he would leave her. Buck wanted to save her" he cries. Why is this happening to him?

He pulls away and sits back against the wall. "She kept letters. Letter he wrote. And...she kept them in a box" he looks at me. "She gave me the box and told me to keep it safe. That's what I'm going to do. But...I received another letter from Bucky... he wrote it a few days ago and I want to open it but I know I have to put it in the box." He takes a deep breath. "I was her hero..." he says basically inaudible. His nose running and his eyes so puffy. Tears roll down my face.

"I- I was her hero and she became everyone else's... but I couldn't save her... I couldn't save Bucky either..." He sobs, I pull him back to me.

"They caught Zola. And Philips wants me to go with him to see Zola." I sigh. He looks up at me and sighs.