The Righteous Path

Carrie

It was 6 pm on December 23rd and Portland was in a frenzy. Last minute shoppers and holiday travelers filled the glistening, rain-soaked streets. The temperature was nearing freezing and the air was becoming thick with frost. Lilith sat on the sidewalk outside of the Roseland Theater, starting her fourth hour in the same spot. There were roughly 300 other people behind her, some in the early entrance lines, the others in general admission. She examined the roads yet again, puddles reflecting the red and green of the traffic lights. The colors made the city look even more cheerful and festive, contrasting to the knots in her stomach. Lilith had decided to wear thick leggings and boots, which she was thankful for now that she had possibly avoided death by exposure. The cold still seeped in through the fleece leggings, burning her skin. She pulled down her orange sweater dress, hoping to warm her thighs a bit more. She knew better than to wear a heavy jacket as it gets hot during concerts, instead opting for a sweater. However, this added to her chilled core. Every part of her outfit had taken her hours to decide on, with not nearly enough consideration to the weather. Instead she found herself debating what would help her stand out, then whether she should instead blend in. She even put on make up for the first time since Halloween, fretting over how her eyes looked and if her lips should be red or black.

"VIP tickets! We're ready!" A woman called from the door. Lilith stood and handed the woman her ticket, the anxiety in her stomach sparking to life, combating the giddy energy of those around her. The woman patted Lilith down and looked in her purse, then let her through. She was one of the first to the barricade. As she stood looking up at the empty stage, she began to question her decision to come yet again. The man next to her was clearly drunk and kept bumping into her butt, adding to her regret. Slowly, the theater filled with excited concert goers, heating the large room to an uncomfortable temperature. She positioned herself in the middle of the barricades and listened to the opening band, but it was hard to focus on them. Her heart was racing and by the end of the openers set, it took everything in her to not run out. All she could think about was how angry Earth was on the night she left. It was easy to assume that if he was man, the others were probably upset as well. And now she was just casually showing up to a concert on the other side of the US? The lights then went down, darkness falling upon the crowd. Yelling and cheering from all around overwhelmed her, the shifting mass wedging her against the hard barricade. The sound of chanting monks filled the theater and then the music started, the lights raising with the sound. It felt like forever since she had last seen them. She stood and watched Omega, still and transfixed. He stared down at her, shocked to see her. The concert flew by and before she knew it, the second to last song was ending. Papa addressed the audience but looked down at her. He smiled sweetly and she smiled back, her heart fluttering. It was painful how badly she wanted his praise, the need cutting through her apprehension and anxiety.

"I see we have familiar faces. How many of you have seen us before?" The crowd erupted, answering Papas question in a thunderous roar. "And for how many is this your first show?" The rest of the crowd cheered. They then played their last song, celebrating the female orgasm. It felt like they were playing just to her. The music ended and the crowd cleared the theater, cramming into the hall to buy items to commemorate the ritual. She lingered in the large theater, trying to determine what she had gained and why she felt so disappointed. She had feared them and what they stood for, yet they were nothing but kind to her. They never hurt her and perhaps they didn't abuse her company the way she felt they did. Every encounter she wanted so desperately, and though she disliked how possessive they were, she loved that they wanted her. As much as she tried to convince herself that she didn't want them, she did. She lusted for them, deep in her core. It was a fixation, her mind and body only thinking of them. A loud crash snapped her back to the present. The entire theater was empty and as she stepped into the hall, only a few people were left, chatting with the roadies. She decided to use the restroom before she left, unsure of how long it would take her to get an Uber on the night before Christmas Eve. By the time she was done, no one was around and it was well past midnight. The roadies were clearing up the rest of the merchandise set up in the hall. She watched as they carried the last of the boxes to the back of the hall, a few eyeing her but didn't say anything.