2 | flatline [darkling]

twelve

SHE HAD LEFT BEHIND Ketterdam, expressing her gratitude towards the Crows a few times prior to departing. From here on, she was alone. No one else would help her until she reached the Little Palace. She had two weeks to get back there, before the Fjerdans arrived. Two weeks to get to Os Kervo, travel back towards Novokribirsk, find a way across the fold and then make her way up to Os Alta.

That would be the reasonable way to go, but she would never make it on time. With talks of the civil war across the Fold, no one was particularly eager to across it. Which left her no way of getting across. Her only way was to get to Halmend, then Ulensk, followed by Ryvost and finally Os Alta. The only issue was that Halmend was Fjerdan territory, which meant she had to do her best time not get caught. There was no other way around it. Fortunately she was already in Fjerda, so she just had to continue to keep it incognito until she made it out.

The map Kaz had given her to follow made this a lot a easier, as long as she made sure to stay on track she should make it out without any issues. The daggers hidden around her body would serve as hunting tools when needed. She would have no choice but to camp out in the cold.

The many years ok the battlefield had clearly not prepared her enough for this situation. Or perhaps it was the solitude that made it unbearable. She felt like she was constantly being watched, but it wasn't the Fjerdans she was worried about. It was him. Ever since her nightmare she had felt like he was whispering in her ears.

"Perhaps I am." Her back stiffens as she takes in a deep breath. She continues walking on, doing her best to ignore the voice her mind had haunted her for the best two days of solitude. "How are you so certain I'm not real?"

"Shut up." She grumbles to herself, making him laugh. Nyx clenches her jaw in annoyance, having had enough of this.

"Isn't it pathetic? No matter how much you hate me you still can't stop thinking of me." His voice seems to be getting louder and clearer, making chills run down her skin.

"I hate you."

"I'm having a hard time believing you. Why don't you say it to my face?" He asks. The feeling of his breath as he whispers those words, makes her spin around with wide eyes. As she realises she is alone, she lets out a breath. "Did you really think I was here? Oh, please. Get over yourself."

"Stop." She cries out as she starts to feel herself crumble with every word he utters.

"You're nothing but a pawn in my game. I had to move you so that I could let the Queen make her move when it was her turn. This was never about you. It only ever has been Alina." He says firmly and she shuts her eyes, stopping her steps as she shakes her head.

"Don't listen to him." The same voice says, but his tone had become softer, more caring. "He has no idea what he's talking about. There's only ever been you."

"Saints, you can't possibly believe that. I know you crave our love, but you'll never have it." The first voice says, making her whine and shake her head.

"I just wanted you to love me. I wanted to be the one you put above everyone else." She says softly.

"I do." "I could never." Both voices say at the same time and she snaps her eyes open, only for them to widen as she sees him standing there with a loving look. Without thinking she runs towards him and as she's about to wrap her arms around him, she tumbles to the floor.

Looking over her shoulder she realise he was just a hallucination. Her head dropping as tears roll down her cheeks. Ever since she first left the Little Palace, had she even taken time to let her tears and pain out truly. She had been so focused on destroying him, that she hadn't realised how much he'd destroyed her.

She had not let her wounds heal. She let them grow, worsen with time. And now she couldn't ignore them anymore. They're hurting too much. But she had no choice but to continue, if not for her vengeance, then for her friends she had to get out of there before the Fjerdans arrived.

"If I stepped down and took you far away from all this, would you believe me then that I love you?" He asks and she bites her lip to keep in her sob.

"I would. If you gave up your power, you left everything behind, then I would believe you." She says honestly.

"Then come home." He says, making her look up and take a deep breath. Pushing herself up, she wipes her tears away and continues in her way.

Perhaps this whole time she put all the blame for her pain in Aleksander, when she was partially at fault as well. Had she not been so depended of him, maybe then things would have turned out differently. If she hadn't put him on a pedestal, maybe all of this would have never happened.