Profit ~TodoBaku~

Chapter 1: shplargonapydeedoobop

Katsuki Bakugo

Crap...I need a proper job! That shitty little corner shop is cute and all, but I need to earn some serious cash if I want any hope of paying my rent next month! In hindsight, it was a stupid idea to move in with Shit Hair and Idiot Face, there was no way they were stable with their finances!

It's not like I'd ever had a great deal of money to manage myself, but I at least thought I had a speck of common sense with it! Those two blew all their cash on new phones and sneakers, no concern whatsoever about leaving me to pay more than half the rent that was meant to be a third each. They'd promised to get their shit together, but the sky would fall before that happened, so I need some money!

It's not for any complicated reason, like paying off a debt, or going to college, I just...I'm just poor, I guess. Life isn't kind, and that had kicked me right in the balls so many times that I'd finally accepted it, and abandoned my ambition. It wasn't realistic, so I woke up, and changed my life. Unfortunately, giving up on that dream had left me cash-strapped, desperate for some kind of fluky luck.

Which is why, as I'm scrolling through NotTwitter, I pause, seeing a post from a man I know very little about. Shoto Todoroki, CEO of Endeavour Inc., is apparently..looking for a personal servant? I mean, some of his recruiting techniques were dodgy, and I'm not sure exactly how he expects to answer all the applications if they're admitted by DM, but I guess it's worth a go, right?

I opened up the DM section of his account having read the application details. Name, Age, DOB, Sexuality (optional), and a full body picture. Seems simple enough...ok...

Katsuki Bakugo
19
20/4/2002
Gay

*KingExplosionMurder attached one photo*

I closed my phone having completed the application, not really thinking much of it. The apartment was empty, the two idiots out getting pissed most likely, so I just kicked back and watched tv, feeling myself truly relax. I liked my ability to be able to practically switch my brain off at will, just going selectively numb to the world around me. It was especially useful when I lived with two fucknuts that couldn't tell yes from no.

Which is why, when my phone pinged loudly in my ear, it took me a moment to register the potential importance of it. Sure, I'd only just sent the picture to Mr Todoroki, or rather his accountant more likely, so a reply was not expected for at least a day or two. Again, this proved somewhat difficult to compute when I opened up my phone and saw that I'd received an almost instantaneous response from his account. I opened it up, 90% sure it'd be an automated, generic reply, but I was quite pleasantly surprised, nee disturbed by the uniqueness of the message

Thank you Katsuki, I'm very
grateful for your application.
If you wouldn't mind, I would
like to bring you in for an
interview, would tomorrow suit?
I would be welcome to your
visit at any time, within daylight
of course. I look forward to
meeting you in person

-Shoto

Well...couldn't sound more like a snivelling rich kid if he tried! It was polite, yes, but came across arrogant to poor little me, the matter of "at your convenience" seeming too lax and informal to be taking me seriously. Ugh, was it the clothes? My messy hair?

Not much was actually known about the true personality of Shoto Todoroki. He came across as a sophisticated young man, and that part of his seemed to be pretty genuine, but his attempt at any sort of composure was as fake as my old man's teeth, and he always had an uncomfortable smile when out in public. It was almost as if he played the part while out in the day, and that meant his true nature was concealed. Whether there was good reason for that, I couldn't say.

I mean...he seems to be acting like I'd expected him to in the message. It was formal, but inconsiderate in the most minuscule ways, grating slowly on my short fuse. He'd invited me for a "visit" tomorrow, but had failed to specify where!!!

Tomorrow works fine,
it'll probably be morning.
Where am I to come?

Oh, silly me! If you could meet
me at my Manor House, that's
where I will be staying for the
rest of the week. The address
is ***-***-****-***

Thanks. I look forward
to it.

Myself also, Katsuki. It shall
be great fun!

...I mean, what do you even say to that?! He sounds almost like a child on his birthday, arranging to meet a friend for lunch or some cutesy shit like that! His attitude wasn't mature, but at the same time he used perfect grammar and varied vocabulary, which was more what I'd expected from someone of his social status. He obviously received a first-class education, not something I was particularly bitter about, since I had no shame in my lack of academic achievement.

For me, social qualifications were far more important than literal ones. I saw much more value in knowing how to cook a casserole than the quadratic equation, knew that the knowledge to pay my own bills was a nicer life skill than essay writing, and was quite sure that understanding that I couldn't afford to adopt a kid just yet was a priority over learning how not to have one. It's pretty fucking simple, people! You see that elastic, your-penis-sized thing? Well, guess where that goes, Einstein!

Not like accidental pregnancy was my biggest concern, given my preferences. My type of sex was one where babies were completely out of the mix, and the risk was completely zero. I mean, no womb, no worries, right? I could get fucked a thousand fucking times and not have a kid, and I didn't need fucking college for that!

So tomorrow...I've got an interview with Shoto Todoroki at his Manor House just outside of Tokyo...well, the boy has money, and I need it, so it's probably best I make as good an impression as possible.

God, it's been a stressful fucking day! My mother's birthday is in a couple days, so I've been scrimping and saving to get her a nice necklace, and what do you know, the day I go to buy it, the prices raise. That meant I had to spend a whole ¥3,000 yen extra, as if the thing wasn't ¥42,000 already! I'd been saving up for that fucking trinket for almost a year, there was no way I wasn't getting it, but now I'm in the shit. I really gotta put my faith in either those idiots, or getting this new job. And personally, I favour the latter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shoto Todoroki

I want that one! He seems fun!
————————————————-

Chapter 1 is always the hardest chapter to write, and this was no exception. I think this story will turn into something with a very weak plot, but see if you can figure out what's coming. Any guesses? All I'd say is pay attention to Shoto's mannerisms...

Fact of the Day: @iliketoeatsocks told me that they'd read my fic even if I just wrote shplargonapydeedoobop, which is why I named this chapter in their legacy 🖤

Now it's time to plug!!!

~Icy? Or Hot? (TDBK)

~SIX (TDBK)

~So Good (TDBK)

~Cry a little to be fine (TDBK)

~Studying You (TDBK)

~Popcorn (KuroKen)

~KNOCK, IDIOT!!! (KRBK)

~Higher Bid (TDBK)

~Your voice feels beautiful (TDBK)