Diary of a Biatch

18. Keep It A Secret

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-Cynthia's POV-

Thank God Kaila and Carl was out. If they knew that I'd brought a 'male friend' home, they'd probably go mental!

It's been about 10 years since Lennie died now, and I need a man to help out with the house, do all the manly things. Yeah, I know I have Carl, but he's gonna get married soon, (I'm so happy for him!) and then he's gonna leave home and he won't be able to do all the house problems anymore.

Who's gonna kill and dispose of the disgusting spiders that invade our house, uninvited? Who's gonna go up to the attic at Christmas to get all of the decorations and Christmas tree down? Who's gonna sort out all the technical problems???

I know I'm not gonna be doing that - I'd just make it worse. And as for spiders, I can't even stand the sight of a money spider! And they're tiny, for crissakes!

Kaila's like me - she won't go near spiders AT ALL. Carl is the only who's good at that sort of stuff.

Kaila might seem tough on the outside, but I know that on the inside, she's actually a really fragile and vulnerable young girl. I know that Lennie's death all those years ago affected her the most. Those two were inseparable - I can still remember that. They done basically everything together.

And I think that if I told her now that I was in a serious relationship with someone, she'd hate me for years - even if she finally realises why I did, she'd never understand fully. She'd think that I'm trying to replace Lennie, but I'm not really.

So I think it would be a good idea if I didn't tell her - just yet anyway. I think I'll wait for a while, then slowly bring it up, making sure that she understands and that it is the right time. Because now is not the right time.

My 'male friend' is called Kyle, and he really is a very kind and sweet man. We've been great friends for ages, but a few weeks ago, he finally asked me out for a date, and I said yes - what harm could it do?

So we went out together, and like always when I'm nervous, I ended up giving him my life story. But this time, I told him everything about Lennie, and that he had died and all that. The only bit I missed out was about why he died - that probably wouldn't have been a good start to the relationship.

He was very nice about it, a pure gentleman. So I figured that he was a nice bloke, and did not refuse the next few dates that he asked me on.

About a week after we started going out, I thought I should tell Carl. He was totally fine with it and knew that I wasn't trying to replace Lennie at all. He also agreed with me that we shouldn't tell Kaila just yet, because she wouldn't understand.

Kyle brought me out of my reverie then and back to the present with a kiss on the cheek. I turned and smiled at him, grateful that I had met such a nice man.

'Would you like a drink, darling?' he asked me, with that gorgeous smile of his on his lips. He had a sort of olive complexion, with kind of short, pitch black hair. His eyes were a very nice dark brown, and resembled chocolate. Overall, he was quite a hottie, with his heart-shaped face and 6-pack.

One thing I was sure of, though, was that he'd never get as close to me as Lennie did. Ever. Nobody will ever come that close.

'Yes please,' I said, wrapping my arms around his neck, and planting a kiss on his lips. 'Seeing as it's evening now, I think it's fine for me to have a nice glass of vodka. Do you think so?'

He pretended to think about this for a while. 'Hmm, yeah, I think that would be a great idea.'

He started walking towards the kitchen while I sat down on the leather couch in the living room. From the kitchen, I could hear drinks being poured.

About a minute later, Kyle came in carrying two glasses of vodka with ice in and a slice of lemon on the side of the glass. This made me smile - he doesn't leave anything out, does he?

'Thanks,' I said as he passed me the glass.

He sat down next to me with a happy sigh and put his arm around me. For a few minutes, we sat and drank in silence. But then Kyle broke it with a question of his, that I knew had been playing around on his mind for a while now.

He hesitated for a bit, but then decided to just get it out. 'How come you don't want Kaila to know about us yet? I mean, we told Carl, but why not Kaila?'

I bit my lip as I tried to figure how to explain.

'Well, you remember what I told you about Lennie?' I started off.

'Yes,' he replied quietly, knowing that Lennie was a sensitive subject.

I took a deep breath, and decided to tell him straight, just to get it over with. 'When he was alive, Kaila and him were near enough inseparable,' I smiled at the memories. 'Kaila was always such a happy little girl - there was hardly ever a time when you'd catch her crying or upset about something. Lennie used to take her shopping quite a lot, getting her these cute little shoes and dresses, and she loved it. They looked exactly like each other, too. They had the exact same light blonde, and slightly wavy hair, the same happy, bright blue eyes, and even the same smile! Then when he died, it was like Kaila... I don't know how to explain it. She sort of deflated, you could say. All of the life just drained out of her. She was much more silent, still didn't cry, but hardly ever smiled or laughed any more. It was horrible, and in a way, it was all my fault.'

I noticed that Kyle was about to argue that last bit, but I carried on before he could interrupt me.

'Then about a year after he died, Kaila kind of grew up really quickly. She was only about 6 or 7, but it was like she had the personality of a 15 year old teenager. She would get really moody, and storm out of a room, she would ignore us sometimes and come out with really sarcastic comments at everything, and she would always act really secretive, staying in her room for ages. She's been like that ever since.

'Mollie's used to it, and I'm glad that they're friends, because I think that if Mollie wasn't here for Kaila, then Kaila would just be one of the people that have no friends, and no life, and end up alone, even though she's a very beautiful and smart young lady - her personality would of drove everyone away. But Mollie's actually helped her grow up, and been there for her whenever she's needed her.

'So, basically, what I'm trying to say, Kyle, is that I don't think Kaila would take it very well if she knew that I'm in another relationship. Lennie dying has had a huge impact on Kaila, even all these years later. I've still not got over it - not really. But I know that Lennie would have wanted me to get on with my life. I don't think Kaila has realised that yet. So I'd appreciate it if we could just keep this from Kaila for a while, and I'll tell her when it's the right time. You're okay with that, aren't you?'

Kyle's gorgeous eyes gazed into mine and said, 'Yes, of course it is. Whatever you think is best,' then he leaned in and gave me a very passionate kiss, wrapping his arms around me.

'Thanks,' I murmured, while his lips brushed mine.

I was so happy. Yes, I may have lost my only true love ten years ago, and yes I may never get over it, but I've found someone who will help me get through it, and be there for me.

And also, I'm glad that Kaila has someone to help her get through it too.

Now I've just got to find a way to tell Kaila that I'm in a relationship, without her hating me for the rest of her life.

**Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter ;) Please vote and comment - I love getting your feedback! Also, what do you think of Kyle so far? Who do you think should play him? Please post links to pictures of who you think should play Kyle. Thanks! Love you all! :D **