an empty bliss beyond this world

There is a sort of bitter triumph in losing yourself. A catharsis. It could be frightening, of course, but once you fell so far down that you forgot you had ever fallen in the first place, it was pure bliss.

It was quite a curious sensation, too. He imagined that a lowly ant being granted the gift of sapience might feel the same way. His mind was filling with beautiful, colourful, complex things he unfortunately couldn't articulate, but that didn't matter, because for the first time in his life he felt properly awake.

He was mad to try and stop it, he thought, and made a resolve to never close his third eye again. After all, what use is there holding on to an idealisation of yourself, when you've been dead for nearly three months, and everyone looks at you with sick, sick eyes?

Because everyone is sick these days, something inside him said. There's something behind their eyes rotting them from the inside out, making them vapid and cruel. You have to be careful or else it might happen to you.

"Yes, yes, yes..." He muttered. "...But I'm better now, aren't I? Why, I feel-"

That blonde bitch is making you worse. You were doing just fine until she came along, and now you're slipping away from me. And I'd hate to see you go, my love, after we've already come so far.

"I-I'm not slipping away, am I!?" He asked, horrified. He held onto his sides as if trying to keep himself from falling apart.

"I'm afraid so, love..." A pair of royal blue eyes appeared at his feet. "Haven't you noticed yourself acting queer? Why, these people are nothing but trouble!"

"What do I do?" He whimpered despairingly. He sat down by the corner and drew his knees up, so that he could be at eye-level with the pretty blue gaze.

"Be still, my soldier..." The voice crooned, then switched to a more serious tone.

"They keep the key to the basement inside the biscuit tin. Find it, open the door and you'll find firearms and some ammo. You'll have to be careful, but I trust that you-"

The light switched on suddenly. The eyes disappeared, and he instantly recoiled from the bright light. When he opened his eyes, he saw that he was alone.

He had snapped back to reality for now.

For a moment or two he was so disorientated he didn't recognise him, but as he came around he saw that the younger of the two Dubliner brothers was standing in the doorway, looking as viscerally uncomfortable as a 5'4 ginger man could possibly look.

"Ah... H-hey there," He waved awkwardly, not quite knowing what to do. "You... you feeling okay..?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"O-oh, nothing, just... Jules heard you talking to yourself and, ah, wanted me to check up on you, y'know..?"

He didn't have the energy to feel ashamed.
"Tell him I'm fine. I was trying to stop the cat from biting me."

"But the cat's not... N-never mind! I'll get right on it!" With that, he slammed the door shut, dying to get away.