REBOUND : His Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 23 : Tongue Tied

(This Chapter is dedicated to
   shichigo & Dineerutz )

Doyoung's POV:

Watching the drama unfolding in front of us, the atmosphere was back to being tensed again. Junkyu hyung immediately left after he came out from the room with Ruto. No matter what, I still feel hurt a little seeing Mashi hyung always rush towards him every time he's in dilemma. Maybe that's one thing that keeps me having the insecurities during our relationship. I feel like being Junkyu hyung's shadow.

What happened with Jeongwoo was actually pure accident. When I saw him in pain during the time when Junkyu hyung introduced his boyfriend to us, I felt like the need to comfort him. Might be because i knew the feeling of being on a one-sided love for so long.

I hate to admit though, but the irony of it was the fact that I used to have a thing for Jeongwoo a long time ago. It was just a phase actually. Thinking about it now, still makes me smile.

That accidental kiss in one of our Treasure Map episode, sent butterflies to my stomach. I just insisted that it didn't touch and claimed it as an air kiss only, no lip touching happened. But the truth, it really did. He was the one who pushed his lips while i'm going down. I didn't expected him to do that. So I lost control on stopping my move to what supposed to be just an air kiss.

No matter how chaste that kiss was, it made me felt things I never should. It took me time to divert my attention away from him. I had a hard time actually, seeing him in a different light, especially noticing the huge changes in his looks and body. It gave me weird thoughts, in a sinful way.

That's when I found myself drifting towards Mashi Hyung. It was torture really, especially being in the same dorm as him, waking up and before going to bed, I see him all the time walking around the dorm sometimes, topless or worst just with his boxers. Imagine the struggle I've been through?

Spending every little time I can with Mashi hyung somehow eased up my feelings for Woo. Being with Mashi hyung feels like home. Like the feeling of being safe, comfortable and secure. But, I became too comfortable and overfamiliar with each other, which somewhat suppressed the wilder side in me. Everyone knows I love fun, adventure and excitement towards almost everything.

The time I spent away from Korea during our movie promotion was an eye opener for me. I somehow got the idea of what Ruto expressed earlier, the thrill of being away from your comfort zone was truly overwhelming. Though we spent only a few days every city or country, our trip won't fail to give us enough time to explore a little and have fun. I was even envious of Junghwan. Being single and no strings attached, he truly savor the pleasure of freedom. I'm also amazed by that kid's sense of maturity and responsibility in himself. He knew how to have fun for sure but at the same time knows how not to leave any traces of possible loopholes. The maknae should teach me some tricks or two someday.

What differed from my case with Ruto was, despite my growing doubts with my relationship with Mashi, I didn't indulge. Probably because my time was limited, and his was longer. Even so, I think its a matter of rationalizing thing before jumping into something. Weighing options and the pros and cons, determining the worth of the risk before you gamble. I told myself that time, there are still many chances for me to indulge opportunities in the future, that's when I decided to stop pretending and let Mashi Go.

(Flashback 1 month before Japan LIne's return:)

It was time for our movie promotion in Tokyo. I was a little nervous knowing the plan I have in mind will soon set in motion. I called him a week ago for this coming trip and the expressing my intent to talk to him about important things personally. I guess he caught right up the gist of my agenda in mind. He willingly agreed to meet up personally, given this chance of visiting Japan in time for our promotion.