5SOS IMAGINES

depression - calum (bf)

you hadn't left your room in 4 days. you'd neglected everything assignment your teachers set for you, ignored every message and call from your phone that had now died, ignored everything. the only time you left the bed was to use the bathroom and maybe eat, depends on your mood.

with this said, your boyfriend started getting worried. calum was meant to come home from your soon, that was the only thing keeping you on this earth. the fact that i'm just a few days you'd be able to hug him and kiss him and let him hold you and tell you everything is going to be ok.

he'd attempted to call you many times in the last 4 days, but you never answered. this worried him considering your old habits. he talked to your family back in australia, but none of them had heard from you either.

you moved across the world to be with calum 2 years ago, so your family didn't suspect much when you didn't have any contact for a while. most of the time you would call once a week because you're busy with work.

as you lay there thinking, you can't help feeling numb. usually the thinking would make you anxious, but you're just too tired at this point that the only thing you can feel is numbness.

you don't notice the front door slamming open, the loud calls of your name from your boyfriend and the thumping footsteps coming up the stairs until the bedroom door is slammed open and his voice is halfway through yelling your name.

you turn your head to the side and that's when you see an out of breathe calum with tears in his own eyes staring at you.

"babygirl..." he says as he lets the tears fall down his cheeks. he makes his way quickly over to you and brigs you into a bone crushing hug. "babygirl." he hiccuped. "why weren't you answering your phone? i was so worried!" he exclaimed.

you hadn't made any move to wrap your arms around him, not being able to tell if you were imagining the moment you had been longing to happen or it was in fact real.

calum pulled back and lays you back down on the bed, stroking you hair trying to keep contact.

"y/n, hey?" he said trying to get your attention. he stared at you and realised your dark circles and puffy eyes, your tear stained cheeks. his heart broke.

he'd only ever seen you in this way once before. but last time he was there, this time you were all alone. suddenly he started crying more, leaning his forehead down to rest against yours.

"i'm so sorry i wasn't here baby." he said as he laid a kiss on the side of your mouth. "i would've come home, baby, i would've come and helped you." he said.

you didn't know what to say. you looked at him and tears built up in your eyes again. you didn't even know it was possible to cry this much in such a short amount of time.

"i'm sorry." you choked out, your voice hadn't been used in a while. calum shakes his head in reply.

"no, no, no, don't blame yourself. i know how hard this is for you." he brushes your noses together. "i'm here now, you're ok. i am going to try my hardest to help you out of your head." he sealed his promise with a kiss to your forehead.

"i love you so much, y/n."

"i love you too." he placed a gentle kiss to your lips, which you returned.

he took a breathe, leaning back up and running his fingers through his hair.

"i promise i will be back in one second, the cab is still waiting out the front and i need to get my bag but i will be back in 5 minutes max." he rushed out. you nod your head.

he lets out a sigh and leaves another kiss on your head, getting up to leave the room.

as he walks down the stairs he texts your family saying your okay. they were all worried after neither them or calum had heard from you for so long.

calum is back in record tim, walking into the room with his hands full of his luggage. he places it all down in the corner of the room and comes back over to you.

"you wanna talk about what's up? or do you just wanna cuddle?" he looks at you as if your a piece of glass. you hate it, you hate feeling weak, but at this moment you can't help. calum will help you, he's the only one that you let yourself be vulnerable with.

you reach out your hand for his and he quickly grabs it, movin to sit next to you in bed.

"have you had anything to eat today, love?" he asks, stroking your hair. you just shake your head. you'd given up on eating two days ago, or what you thought was two days ago.

he lets out a long sigh. "you have to eat, baby girl. come one, i'll make you some soup, you can just drink the broth, but you need something in your stomach." he says, pleading with you. you nod your head and he pulls you up into a seating position.

calum gets off the bed and lets go of your hand to wrap your arms around his neck as he grabs the back on your thighs, lifting you up.

once your in his home, he places a kiss to your temple as you nuzzle into his neck.

"you're gonna be okay baby girl. i'm right here. i know you feel horrible right now, but i'm not leaving, ever. i'm always here, for anything and everything. even just a hug, or to talk about stupid things to distract you. im always here. don't forget that my love." he places a kiss on your shoulder as he makes his way down the stairs. "i'm gonna help you  feel better, and everything will be okay." he says gently, placing you down on the kitchen counter.

you don't make any move to let go of each other, both in need to the physical contact. that is until your stomach rumbles so aggressively that you gasp suddenly. calum pulls away and places a kiss on your forehead.

"i'm gonna make you some soup, and then we're gonna sit on the couch and watch something. no more bedroom, it's not good to be cooped up in there for days on end. we can sleep down here on the pull out tonight." he says and you nod. he pulls you back into a hug, whisper 'i love you' over and over again till he lets go.

"i love you calum." you choke out through a scratchy voice.

"i love you so much y/n."