5SOS IMAGINES

stress - ashton (bf)

"hey love! how's your day been?" my boyfriend asks as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"making toast." i say with a laugh. he plants a kiss on my temple and chuckles.

"can we make cookies too?" i hesitate, but i nod my head. "what's wrong, bub?"

"nothing ash, im just tired." i say as i turn my head to plant a kiss on his cheek. he smiles, but shakes his head.

"we don't have to if your too tired, it's ok."

"no, no, it's ok, i'd love to make cookies." he smiles and pulls away, moving towards the pantry to get what we need whilst i eat my toast.

"choc chip?" he questions and i nod my head.

whilst making the dough, ashton's playing around with all the ingredient and getting them everywhere. i wouldn't expect anything less.

ive never been good in situations where i'm under even a slight bit of pressure, for example now. i'm trying to concentrate but it's hard when you have a 24 year old child playing around next to you.

"ash, can you me measure this please?" i ask and holdout the 1/2 and the flour. he grabs them and dumps way more then necessary into the cup, half of it ending up in the bowl.

"ashtooonnnn, that's too muchhh." my brain is freaking out, i have to follow the recipe exactly but he messed it up and i can't get mad at him for it.

he'd think i'm so stupid, who gets anxious about making cookies? it sounds so stupid. i can feel my breathing increase and my body tense up. my hands reach to hold onto the counter to hide them shaking.

"i'm sorry." he giggles hysterically till he looks at me. "woah, babe, it's ok, it's just a bit extra, doesn't matter. i'm sorry."

i look at him and can see how bad he feels. "no, ash, don't feel bad, i don't know, i'm just gonna go to the bathroom really quick and i'll be back." he nods, and wipes his hands off on a paper towel, coming towards me to leave a kiss on my head.

"ok, i'll wait for you." i nod my head and make my way over to the bathroom.

as i'm sitting there, i stress myself out more. i can't take too long because he's waiting for me, but i need at least 10 minutes to call myself down.

i sit there on the floor, my knees tucked to my chest and my head resting against them.

i hear a knock on the other side and then, "hey bub, you okay?" i hear ashton say.

i wipe my tears and try to make myself look presentable as i stand up and open the door. "yeah, i'm good." i try to smile. "let's finish the cookies." i walk past him, but he catches my arm.

"hey, what's wrong? i'm not an idiot, i can see you've been crying." i tear up again. god damnit, why? "baby, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to mess it up, it's only cookies!" he exclaims.

i shake my head. "no, i'm sorry, i can't explain it ash. i don't know why, but it just stresses me out so much. the recipe is there for you to follow it exactly and i know it was an accident and i shouldn't care but i can't help it." i pause for a second to catch my breathe and look at him properly. his face shows so much confusion.

"i don't know why, but baking and anything similar has always stressed me out. my sister used to always ask me to help and i'd end having an anxiety attack, i don't know but and i'm so sorry for making you feel bad, i know it's just cookies, but-" i cut myself off, having to hold back my tears.

ashton moves closer to me, pulling me into his chest. "if i knew how much it stressed you out, i wouldn't have suggested it, darling." he says into my hair. i shake my head.

"no ash, it's not your fault, i should've just said no." he plants a kiss on my head and continues to rub my back as i calm down.

"sh, bub, it's ok. i'll finish, you can just watch and we'll talk about it later. just focus on my heart and breathing, try to calm yourself down." he pulls me towards to bed, knowing my legs can't support my own weight when i'm like this.

"it's ok, sweetheart, you're ok, i'm right here." he reassured me. "just breathe, baby."

slowly, i calm down, but then all i feel is embarrassed. i just had an anxiety attack over baking god damn chocolate chip cookies. how stupid is that?

"hey, you okay?" ashton time ny head up and i not, nuzzling my head into his neck.

"i'm sorry." i apologise.

"don't be silly, baby girl, you don't have to apologise." he says gently. "come on then, you can come and sit with me and i'll finish." i nod my head and he helps me stand up.

he stops me, "but! you are doing the dishes." he says, hoping my nose gently. i giggle and kiss his cheek. "deal." i say.

he smiles and we make our way down to the kitchen to finish and clean up.

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a/n: this is based one of my recent anxiety attacks, minus ashton (i wish). but idk how to explain it, it just happens and i hate baking but my sisters really wanted me to so i said yes, but never again.