Letting Him In

Chapter-30

"I wanna sleep next to you
But that's all I wanna do right now
And I wanna come home to you
But home is just a room full of my safest sounds

'Cause you know that I can't trust myself with my 3:00 a.m. shadow
I'd rather fuel a fantasy then deal with this alone"

-Troye Sivan, Talk Me Down.
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Elijah

"I'll be right up," Kaeden said as Elijah got out of the car. "Just need to park in the basement."

The entire ride to the hospital had felt like an eternity with neither of them knowing what to say. But Elijah's mind was running a thousand miles a second now.

He nodded, before walking to the entrance of the hospital. This wasn't how he had thought the day after his eighteenth birthday would go; he had planned to meet his friends, but his parents had told him last night that he would have chemo starting today. He wouldn't be able to go after that, so it was another thing he had to cancel. It felt like fate had never really been fond of him.

He fisted his hands to stop them from shaking. No matter how much he pretended, it still hurt. Cancer had stolen years of his childhood. He wasn't willing to miss out on more of his life. And yet here he was.

As he got closer to the sliding doors, a familiar figure leaning against the wall caught his eye.

Dean was scrolling through his phone, a concentrated look on his face as he looked at the screen. Elijah walked over to him, and Dean looked up, giving him a small smile.

"Hey," Dean murmured, tucking his phone into his back pocket.

"Hey," Elijah returned. Even now, with his mind still too numb to catch up to what was going to happen soon, he wanted to touch Dean. He didn't even want to kiss him, just touch him. It was scary, the effect Dean seemed to have on him is such a small span of time. "What're you doing here?"

"You really thought I wouldn't come?" Dean questioned softly, taking his hand and pulling him along to duck into the small alley the hospital was next to.

Elijah knew this alley well. When his parents used to bring him to the hospital for post-treatment regular checkups, he would sneak away and hide here, refusing to go inside. The ghost of the memory still lingered, but Elijah shook it off to focus on Dean.

Walking a little further until they were hidden from people's view, Dean leaned down a little, pressing his forehead against his. Elijah leaned into his touch, feeling the tiniest bit of anxiety leaving him.

One thing had been eating him alive since yesterday, and he had been trying to ignore it. But he couldn't. Not if it meant he would be hurting Dean by being selfish. The next words were hard to get out, but he managed, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"We can't do this, Dean," he said, his voice breaking the slightest bit. He turned his head to look back at the road for a moment, just incase anyone could see them. "I'm sick. For God knows how long, I'm going to be in and out of the hospital. Noone knows how it will work out- if it will work out. And I can't drag you through this hell with me. You don't deserve that shit. It isn't fair to you- not when we don't even know what's going on between us."

Dean shook his head, pulling him closer to wrap his arms around Elijah's slightly smaller frame. Elijah tried to get out of his grip, but even he knew it was a feeble attempt; they both knew he didn't really want to leave Dean's embrace.

"Be my boyfriend," Dean said abruptly, making Elijah's head shoot up at the words. But when Dean's small smile didn't falter, Elijah inhaled sharply.