Letting Him In

Chapter 23

"I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
Not what you'd think
And if I'm being honest
It might've been a nightmare
To anyone who might care"

-Everything I Wanted, Billie Eilish
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Elijah sat on one of the the chairs in the small office, his gaze fixated on the small figure of the human brain resting on Doctor Larkson's desk. The older man had offered a kind smile as Elijah had entered the office, immediately filling his mind with dread. His fingers drummed against the side of the chair; he couldn't bring himself to look up and meet the doctor's eyes as he waited for him to say something.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to Elijah, Doctor Larkson finished rummaging through he set of files in his drawer and pulled out Elijah's.

"The test results came back a few hours ago," the man started, his voice calm, "and there's no easy way for me to put this, Elijah. Your cancer is back."

Elijah's mind went blank at those words as a deep breath left his body. He closed his eyes, not wanting to look at the doctor or at Kaeden.

Just like on a cold winter morning, when you've just gotten up and feel like you never want to leave the comfort of your warm bed and blankets, Elijah had been holding onto the small hope that he was fine, that he was being dramatic and there was a simple explanation for everything he was going through. And just like on that winter morning, when you don't want to get out of bed, but someone ends up pulling the blanket off you to get you up, it felt like Elijah's hope had been ripped away from him, leaving a cold, numb feeling in its wake.

"How bad is it?" Kaeden asked from beside him in a small voice, but Elijah wasn't sure he wanted to know. This much was already too much to handle.

"I think that conversation would be better with Elijah's parents here too," Doctor Larkson said gently.

Elijah hated the slight pity in his voice, though the man had hidden it well.

"Just drop the bomb, doc," he mumbled. "I'd rather just get it over with."

He really wouldn't, but he wasn't sure it would be a good idea to have his parents here without knowing what they were going to find out.

"Elijah..."

Elijah opened his eyes, finally looking up.

"Please, just say it. I don't wanna sit around not knowing what's going on in my own body."

"It's worse than the first time," the older man said with a small sigh. "Considering you said that you've been having symptoms for a while, along with the fact regarding how fast Burkett Lymphoma spreads, it certainly could have been worse, though."

Elijah raised an eyebrow. "Is that supposed to be comforting?"

The doctor let out a small chuckle. "Good to know your sass is still intact after this news."

"How much worse?" Kaeden asked after a few moments of silence when it seemed like Elijah wasn't going to speak again.

Shooting his friend a sideways glance, Elijah noticed that Kaeden had a death grip on his chair, his knuckles white from the pressure. From this angle, Elijah could see a bruise under the neckline of his shirt, and he wasn't sure how he hadn't noticed the blueish mark before; it was probably from football practice, he thought.

As for himself, he felt like he might throw up at any moment. How badly he had been hoping that for once, life would play out in his favor and that the doctor would say he didn't have cancer.