Of Tales and Tails - A Quacknoblade Story

Quackity's Lists

There were a lot of things Quackity knew about Technoblade. That he was fucking terrifying, he had pink hair, and had two brothers. There were also many things that Quackity didn't know about Technoblade. If he had any friends, how his hair managed to look so smooth and soft all of the time, and how his legs are so fucking long.

Then there was this one special list. This list, Quackity called the "Things I didn't know about Technoblade that I now do know but kinda wish I never realized this because I am now thinking about it 24/7...List." If you read that in one breath Quackity would advise you to take a moment to breathe.

In this list included the fact that Technoblade takes fencing class after school, his braid reaches his butt, and that Technoblade was afraid of water. That last one was really peculiar to Quackity, because he had never noticed it until now.

It was always the little things: the fact that Techno seemed to inch away whenever someone was around with a spray can, and the barely noticeable way Techno seemed to flinch whenever someone was splashing water at the drinking fountain.

These tiny details lead to the following conclusion now at the very bottom of the list: Technoblade was afraid of water.

This theory led to many confusions. If Techno was afraid of water, how did he manage to not stink 24/7. Especially because he does fencing. And if he was afraid of water, how could he still afford to have long hair?

Maybe, Quackity thought, he forced himself to take a shower after fencing practice and fencing practice only.

Really, if Techno was a regular human being, Quackity would have approached him shamelessly with all of the questions. Quackity was genuinely curious about Techno, and if Techno were any regular human being, he would have asked. But the thing is, Techno was no ordinary person. Techno was fucking terrifying, extremely tall, and looked intimidating. There was no way in hell that Quackity was going to approach him.

So Quackity decided to keep his observations to himself.