TRAUMA

#1

TRAUMA

"Don't you hear me? I already said that I don't wanna have any relationship anymore with you. Whatever it is."

"Okay. Then i'll make sure you'll regret your decision."

***

Arrgghh, that nightmare again. I can't forget about what happened that night. That was my worst nightmare. I can't even slept well since that night. I didn't expect that this separation between us could be full of drama. I didn't know that he was like a psychopath. He was nice and kind to me. Why didn't i realize the true colour of him earlier? I mean, ya, maybe I was a fool. He was so toxic. I always tried to think positive about him even though he always did bad things to me. For now i wish i can forget about that, but i knew that i wasn't able to. That was always chasing me, especially when i closed my eyes. There wasn't a night that i didn't dream about that. Always and always.  

***

The wind came into my room through the opened window. The curtain also moved slowly because of it. How careless i am. I fell asleep. I didn't close the window and also didn't lock the door. The TV was still on too. I lived in this house alone. My parents died a year ago because of an accident. Luckily i wasn't with them at that time. But also i wish i was in the same car with my parents, so i didn't deal with my sucks life. 

That day i had an interview for a job. My dream job actually. As an application developer in one of the biggest company in my city. So that was kinda big deal for me. So i can't be late even just for 1 sec. I rolled out of my bed and headed to my bathroom. I prepared myself like prefectly prefect. I wore my formal outfit. I usually didn't care about my hair, but like i said that was a big deal so i did my hair. I used the pink cheap hair straightener that i bought on the online shop. Really helpful and useful though for daily. I made a little curl on the edge of my hair. I'm not a hairdresser so that was all i can do.

***

Everyone was very busy i guess. I was stuck in a traffic jam. The car horn was like shouting to each other. I was lucky because the sky was cloudy so it can't be worse. Just imagine if I was stuck in a traffic jam then the sunlight was so hot. It would be like in the microwave. I was going by car. The old car. I bought it with my own money. I bought it when i was in college. I earned money from freelancing and i saved some then bought this car. 

***

It was 07.25 am. The interview was at 08.00 am, i was so relieved that i wasn't late. That wouldn't be funny if i was late at the interview section. Could be a bad impression. First thing that I did was come to the front office.

"Hai, Morning. I am Courtney Port. I have a job interview for an application developer."

"What is the division that you applied for?"

"Graphic designer."

"Okay, Ms. Port. Your section is at 08.00 am. While you wait for the time, you may sit there." She pointed to the couch.

"Alright. Thank you."

She was really kind. The voice was so formal. But i think i was the one and only person who was wearing formal outfit. I saw some people who probably work here, they wore casual outfits. Like shirt, t-shirt, jeans, etc. I got a cheerful vibe in here. 

*** 

08.00 sharp, there was someone calling my name. I think he was the HR but i was wrong. He told me that Mrs. Young was waiting for me in her office. We went up to the 3rd floor and walked along the corridor. Before we arrived at the HR room, i saw some employees staring at their monitors with headphones on their head. I think they were listening to the music. I could tell from their gesture and their mouth was like humming. Every room in this office has a different concept. So fun.

***

"So, Ms. Port right?"

"Yes, Ma'am." I could tell that she knew i was really nervous.

"Relax. Just call me Silvana. I prefer to make this thing as a sharing section. So you can enjoy this section and forget about the nerves."

"Alright, i will try." I tried to give her a smile but i turned out to be a creepy one i guess.

"Courtney, right? Tell me if you finally work here, then how long do you want to work here? I mean we all have plans for our next move right?"

"I will say, I will work here till this company gets bored of me. I am talking about loyalty. Because this is my dream job, dream company. I know that this sounds cheesy but that is the truth."

"Okay. What else do you do for life?"

"I am painting. Sometimes i sell my paintings on the web. Not all of them sold, but it could help me out with the bills." I giggled.

"No wonder you applied to graphic design. I bet you have skills on it."

Let me tell you, that was my first interview which i didn't feel like i was talking to the HR, it felt like i was talking to my closest friend. She was really good at it. She was really pretty though. I liked her eyes. The colour was so rare. Her skin was so soft. She didn't wear bold makeup. Just like me. But her inner beauty was really shining out. She really knew how to talk to people and made them calm. Her voice was so soothing. How lucky her spouse is. 

***

*BRAAAKK*

"I'm sorry. I didn't see you. I was talking to my friend." 

"Oh, it's okay. I'm okay."

"Hey, are you new here?"

"Yeah, kinda. I start tomorrow."

"Well, welcome then. My name is Asher."

"Courtney."

"Well, see you tomorrow i guess."

"Ya. Bye."

Who's that guy? He was really charming. Asher. I never saw someone who was really attractive like him. His green eyes were so shining. His lips. His hair. So perfect. My heart was beating so fast when i looked into his eyes. So intimidating. I felt safe and intimidated by him at the same time. What was i thinking? I just met him. I didn't want to throw myself at the random guy that i just knew. I didn't want to fall in the same hole.