TRAUMA

#6

*Courtney's POV

"Then tell me."

"This is gonna be a long long story."

"I don't have any plan, so go on."

"Actually Max was good, he was fine. But sometimes he was being so possessive and toxic. He didn't want let anyone hurt me but he was the one who hurt me. Not just my heart but also my body. Instead of leaving him and safe myself, i forgave him everytine he say sorry. I didn't know why." I was starting the story and i could feel my tears were rolling down.

"A year ago, i told him that i'm enough with this toxic relationship after he think that i cheat on him and slapped me on my face right in front of public. I was ashamed. I was running away from him, fortunately there was a cab not so far from that place. I was going home and crying out my eyes. I turned off my phone at that time. Then i fell asleep."

"And what was going on? Did you lock the door?"

"Yes, i was safe and sound til the morning came. I turned on my phone and i saw there were so many messages and missed calls from him. I just threw away my phone. I didn't have desire to reply or call him back. It's enough for me. I didn't want to waste my time just for sucks relationship. I didn't go out of my house that day, even just for one step. I was afraid of him. Then the night, he was knocking on my door. He asked me to opened the door. He said he wanted to talk to me. To clear the things up. And how stupid i am, i opened the door and let him in. We just talked like usual, but then he tried to kiss me. I was avoiding him. Then he asked me why. 'Don't you hear me? I already said that I don't wanna have any relationship anymore with you. Whatever it is.' I said to him like that. Then he said 'Okay. Then i'll make sure you'll regret your decision.' Af--after that..." I stopped because i couldn't handle of the pain in my heart.

Asher was rubbing my shoulder. I covered my  eyes with my hand and tried to be strong to finish it.

"After that, he grabbed my hands and carried me to my room. Then he smacked me on my bed and tied my hands used his belt and the phone charger. He said 'i knew you are still a virgin and i have to take it from you before you left me.' When i tried to scream louder than before, he choke me so hard. I couldn't breath then he loosen his hand and took my socks then put it in my mouth. He undressed me so fast then....." I was crying.

"I could feel all of the pain in one time. I always said to myself that i will give my first time to my husband. But then he took it. It really hurts. I still can feel it everytime i remember that night."

"After he did it, he untied my hands then left. I was crying desperately. I even thought to kill myself."

Asher's tears were rolling down and he hugged me. "That was so awful. You are strong. That's why you always been so awkward when you were with me. You tried to handle your fear around men. How could you do that? I'm so sorry to hear that. That b*stard has to be given a lesson."

"I don't know how to stop him for stalking me and creeping me around. I am so scared."

"I'll help you. You can't be alone."

"I'm living in this house by myself. How can't i be alone?"

"I will move in here."

"Wha--tt?!"

"Yeah, if you don't mind. I can sleep in other room or in this couch. We can go to work together."

"I mean, I'm okay with that idea but how can i believe you that you won't do anything bad or stupid?"

"I am not that type of human. I'm still virgin and i have the same thought as you."

"Okay then. I trust you."

"Now, you need to rest. You have to sleep. I will wait for you til you sleep."

He hugged me again and said good night. He also kissed my forehead.

'What was that for?' I asked to myself. I loved it. I could feel the strong feeling between me and Asher but i didn't know yet.

***

In my room, i tried to sleep but i couldn't. My eyes felt burn. Maybe because i was crying so hard. I thought about Asher and the kiss. I wanted more. What was wrong with me? Did i miss being loved by someone?

***

"Good morning, you princess"

"Oh goodness!" I was shocked. Asher already sat on the edge of my bed.

"Wow, calm down. Sorry. I'm not trying to freaking you out."

"No, no i'm okay."

I got up and rolled out of bed then went to shower. "Are you ready for this day?" Asher asked me.

"Actually i'm feeling great. Thank you for last night."

"I didn't even do anything. Just listened to you "

"That helped though. I want to take shower. Do you have any plan today?" I asked him because that day was day off. I wanted to go to some place that could refresh my mind.

"Nah, i'm free today. Why?"

"Do you wanna go some where with me? I need to refresh my mind."

"Okay then. I already made you a breakfast. Dig it!"

"Waw waw, you are diligent man huh?"

"Kinda." He smiled.

For the thousand times, i said that he made me safe. I felt safe around him. Besides he seemed really care about me. My heart was rushing. I wanted to kiss him. It was like my trauma was gone. Like i found the cure.

"Ash..." I called him out. Then i came over him slowly.

"Yaa.. what's wrong?"

I hugged him tightly. He hugged me back and rubbed my back slowly. "Thank you."

"Courtney, you don't have to thank me. I will bye by your side. Always. Because i love you. Really love you."

I swallowed my saliva, shocked. "What?"

"I already said that. I love you. Do you feel the same?"

I stepped back then sat on the stool. "I don't know yet. You know what i mean. It will be hard trusting people after what happened to me."

"Yeah i know. You just need time. More time. I will be waiting for it. I will be around."

"Thanks for that." I smiled at him and he hugged me again then kissed my forehead. Again. I loved that.