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Chapter 35

We were nearing towards April. I was having a complete life, good bonds with my friends, increasing love for Ryan, amazing sex. I was the happiest I've ever been. But things don't always remain smooth, there are always ups and downs, right and wrongs, truth and lies.

Zack and Jessica had thrown a party at the dorm for their three years anniversary. Everyone was excited, Will and Piper were doing all the preparation. Sandra, Katie and I was controlling the music department. Ryan was responsible for all the food.

I went downstairs to see all the preparations. Will and Piper came to me and showed me a small camera. "We are going to prank Zack and Jess so hard. It will be so fun." Piper said excitedly. And then they went to hide the camera.

Ryan was in the kitchen, cleaning fridge. I walked to him and hugged him from behind. "Faith?" he asked softly. It wasn't really a question. "Ryan." I replied. He turned around. "I came here to told you I'm leaving for the movie, Freya is waiting outside for me." I said and pecked him on lips and started moving away.

He pulled me from my waist. "is it necessary to go?" he asked sadly. "yes, I promised her." I told him. He bent his head and kissed me lightly on neck and I shivered. He blushed and let go of me. I waved my hand and exited.

I sat beside Freya on the scooty with her and started moving towards cinema. Movie was really good and Freya and I, both were impatient now to meet our boyfriends. She dropped me at campus and left.

I walked in the dorm and was looking for Ryan. I saw Ryan laying on the sofa and a girl laying on him. My heart literally stopped. "You saw us? Oh my God! It isn't what it looks like." Rosie said panicking.

Ryan got up and looked back and forth between me and Rosie. Rosie was still on Ryan's lap and her hand was under his shirt. He pushed her off of him and came to me. He was looking at me pleadingly.

I took a step backwards. The image of him and Rosie was burned in my mind. I could feel my heart shattering in millions small pieces. I never thought that I will ever see Ryan cheating on me.

"Faith, no, it isn't what it looks like." He said the same words Rosie said. I shook my head in disbelief.

Ryan?

My Ryan?

I couldn't believe this but how can I deny what I saw.

I caught them red handed. Tears were moving down from Ryan's face and held me from my shoulders. I pushed him away from me. I didn't want him to touch me because I knew I will melt with him. His face looked so devastated.

I ignored his face and looked upwards to stop the tears from flowing. I didn't want to cry. Ryan grabbed my hand and put it on his scar desperately. In that moment I felt for the first time, that it calmed me as well. I freed my hand from his grasp and took one more step backwards.

His eyes were a little red already and tears just keep flowing. My already broken heart cracked a little more at the sight. I couldn't shout at him for cheating on me. I wasn't angry on him.

I was disappointed.

I was carrying so much disappointment in my heart and it was hurting me.

I love him!! How can he do that to me?

I was foolish to trust him. I lost my home...again.

These thoughts were eating me inside.

I rushed to my room and could hear Ryan yelling my name. So much pain evident in his voice. But my mind kept thinking that he had cheated on me. I was certain about this, I was easily replaceable in front of Rosie. But he could have told me that he is bored of me.

Why cheat?

I locked myself in my room and slid to the floor, resting my back to the door, until I was holding myself together from shattering. I couldn't cry, I wanted to, but I just couldn't.

Hours passed and I was still sitting in the same position. I got up took my toiletries, unlocked the door and went to take a shower.

I turned the valve to cold water and stood under the running water, trying to wash away all the pain, devastation, disappointment. It was of no avail.

I came out, wore a loose t-shirt which was originally mine with a lower and headed to my room. I hadn't eaten for the whole day and I wasn't hungry. I was desperate to divert my mind so I tried reading a book.

I saw my collection of books in the shelf and then I saw twilight from the corner of my eye and my heart broke again. I didn't dare reading anything then. I laid in my bed again, waiting for sleep to overtake me but I felt empty.

My bed felt a lot bigger than it should. I knew that my heart will always remain broken. There's no amendment or medicine for the pain I was feeling.

And finally the horrible feeling haunted me which always make me crawl in my skin. There was no one to save me now. I was alone and broken.

I was panicking and I felt pain so strong physically and mentally. I was aching to be in Ryan's arms. I tried to slid that thought away. I called Monty when I had no choice.

He picked up. "hey! Faith. How's it going?" he said cheerfully. I felt peace after hearing his voice. "not good. I miss you...I want to see you." I said and my voice cracked a little.

"is everything okay?" he asked concerned. "don't ask right now. Please. It hurts. A lot." I said and he obeyed immediately not wanting to push me for which I was grateful.

We talked for hours and he made me laugh so much that I almost forgot about Ryan. Almost. I hung up then when I started feeling a little better. But I was back to square one.

Monty is the person I can never hate or be angry or be disappointed. He will always be my moon, no matter what. I loved Ryan more than anything but the respect I had for Monty was irreplaceable. He was irreplaceable. The thought of Monty distracted me and I fell in a disturbing sleep.