Our Destiny Was An Accident

Chapter 13: The nightmare

It's sleeping time but Amy couldn't relax her mind. Giving up to her capricious mood, she jumps to Han's room, forcing him to teach her driving car right now. Helplessly Han gets up to bring the keys and Amy rushes outside after snatching keys from Han's hand and stands in front of the car. Little did she know that a new challenge is awaiting her, and it's not driving the car. It's a challenge to face her past. As soon as she taps the button and car's falshlight turns on, she screams out the word "Ammi" dropping the keys and putting her hand on the eyes in fright. She drops down and couldn't dare to look up at the light or hold her sanity, finally collapsing in Han's arm. Han brings her inside and tries to wake her up. Although she wake up she did not dare to open her eyes. She kept her eyes closed and masked it with her hand. Han ensured her that they are safe and he is with her, she need not to fear, she should open her eyes and tell her what happened so that he could help. After his encouragement, she tries to calm herself and takes deep breath as she was taught by her psychiatrist but this step made her realise that she is having hard time breathing in. Her lungs are not listening to her commands and in fear she cries. Han notices her struggle and hugs her in a way that her head is facing his chest and he is coccooning her with his arms and tries to comfort her by rubing her back which helped Amy in taking short breaths while sobbing.
When she calms down, he gives her a glass of water to drink and asks if she is ready to share with him about what happened. She breathes and sighs telling him that she felt as if those lights were rushing towards her and will kill her. As if she is going to die. She explains that she never felt so horrible ever. Han hugs her as she is terribly trembling all shattered inside. Han felt that it might be due to the accident that he caused.
"No. It's definitely the reason." Han's inner voice calls to him.
Probably the flashlights triggered her memory or it might be PTSD. She can't recall her past but the trauma remain. He felt so guilty and hurt that tears fell from his eyes. He quickly wipes it off and tries consoling Amy that nothing is going to happen. He is always beside her, protecting her from everything, so she need not to worry. Just trust him, since he will not let anything hurt her. He lie her on his bed coz he knew she need him but Amy didn't leave his hand. He tucks her in the blanket and increases the AC temperature so that he could survive the night without the blanket and lies next to her. Both sleeps together but Amy is still uneasy. Her grips on his hand keeps getting loose then tight then squeezing and so on letting Han know her inner turmoil. She even keeps muttering the word "ammi". Han pats her head to help her sleep. Han recalls the time when she first open her eyes and uttered her name. It was probably this word "ammi" that she keeps murmuring what he mistook as Amy. This solves the riddle why she was able to speak her name initially but later recalls nothing. She subconsciously just call her mother as any child would, like today. The moment when she cried in the changing room while missing her mother flashes Han's mind and he again drowns himself in deep guilt and morose meanwhile putting Amy's head more closer to his chest and keeps patting her as if he wanted to give her the warmth she is missing. Make her feel that she has him, always.
Next morning, Amy looks withered. Han keep smiling at her, making silly jokes, tries to be funny, entertain her, anything he could to light up her mood. He makes her favourite breakfast and plays her favourite music too but she barely had any reaction. She is just spaced out, somewhere, in a dark gloomy room, from where she is afraid to step out, scared to see the light again, that is probably waiting to engulf her completely like a black hole, or she might already had been trapped by one from which it is impossible to step out in the light. She felt her heart sinking again.
Soon Han notices changes in her breath and instantly grabs her hand tightly as if he knew she is drowning in the black ocean.
Han: "Amy, are you alright?"
Amy tells she is fine with a heavy heart.
Han: "You need to see your doctor(psychiatrist). Today we are going to the hospital. I already took leave from your academics on your behalf."
Amy: (After thinking a while) "I am not taking any leave. Excuse me. I need to get ready. "

Amy gets ready though Han was solicitous about Amy's condition. But one part of him wanted Amy to fight so he just packed her lunch and medicines and tried to observe what she is trying to do.
He kept worrying whether Amy will be able to ride the car after what happened. He reluctantly looks at Amy wondering, how to ask her on how to commute. Amy sees through him, so she boldly with hard voice, commanded him to get the car ready or else they might get late. Han at this moment just like an obedient servant nod his head saying "yes" and went out with his keys. After coming out he gasps with heaviness as if Amy scared him with her dreadful glare. He put his hand on her heart to calm it down and wonders how much he changes around her.
"Last night she was scared to death and now she freaked me out." Thinks Han in his head.