Savior 🔞

°41

Sophia

Waking up, I stretch towards where Jungkook should be, but find the bed empty. My eyes fly open as I look around trying to find him. Was it a dream? Maybe he changed his mind... No... He wouldn't do that! I have to stop doubting him... I sit up and take in the view of our room. The rose petals are still scattered on the floor, and the scent is starting to be overwhelming.

Wanting to escape the stench, I stand to get some fresh air on the balcony. As I get to the door, I see him... He's leaning on the railing, a cigarette hanging from his lips, and looking really frustrated while he talks on the phone. I stand, frozen in my spot, looking at the man I love. I move slowly, unsure of whether I should intrude or not, but wanting to know what's upsetting him.

"Hyung... I don't think she could do it... She is better, but this is too much..."

Not being able to hear the other end of his conversation is frustrating. Is he talking about me? I'm sure that he is, but what does one of his friends want me to do?

"NO! I forbid you to ask her... It's not fair! She's finally better, and this could send her backwards..."

My thoughts run rampant to try and figure out what's happening... I'm scared to know, but also feel like he shouldn't keep something from me.

"I can't lose her again hyung... Please..."

Not standing it anymore, I move to stand next to him, surprising him. He stares at my questioning eyes, and ends his call. He knows I've heard him, and he immediately puts out the cigarette.

"When did you start smoking? And who were you talking to?" I don't wait, or sugar coat anything.

"Sophia..." "Who. Was. It?" I'm stressed, and feel like we're not where we should be if he is going to avoid my question. I'm done with keeping things to myself, and he needs to trust I can handle whatever is happening.

"Taehyung hyung..." He looks down, but I take his chin in my hand to lift it, forcing our eye contact.

"What does he want me to do?"

I fight off the trembling, as I see a fear grip Jungkook. His eyes tell me that it's not something I'll be happy about, but I don't back away.

"Jungkook... Tell me... Don't shield me. If it's hurting you, it's hurting me... Please... Trust me."

I feel frightened, but determined to not break at the first test. I spent almost 6 months away from everything, and everyone I love, to get stronger. If I can't handle whatever this is, I don't know if I'm fit to be with Jungkook and Olivia...

"Aera's trial is starting... The prosecution wants you to testify. They think it's important because the Doctor that drugged you, and then poisoned you, has already told everything. They want your version of the things that you remember."

I feel the sweat running down my back, and I shiver as a breeze hits me. Jungkook is looking lost, and afraid of my reaction. He knows I don't want to return to Seoul yet, and this would mean that I have to. I feel like I'm adrift without an anchor suddenly, and my breathing becomes labored. Am I destined to continue to lose everything I hold dear? If I can't do this, what does that mean?

"Hey... Don't panic Love... It's okay..." His strong arms engulf my anxious self, and I cling onto him. I hate myself so much... Why can't I just do this? Why can't I just face my demons? I've always run away, leaving their fate up to chance. So far, I've been lucky because Hae-un is in jail, but Ju-won got a pass because I was too afraid to admit what he had done to me. I lost years with my daughter, and the man I love, because of my weaknesses... Can I continue to hide away, and let another person walk free, just because I'm scared?