Tate and Violet- Forever Yours

Chapter 22- Vivian

Vivian

"Ben, I can't do this anymore"

He looked at me with shock apparent on his face.

" What do you mean you can't do this anymore Vivian"

Shit. This is harder than I thought it would be.

How do you tell your husband that right now every time you see his face you want to be sick.

Or how you're fed up with all his lying .
With all his bull shit
Fed up how he pretends to be better than everyone when really he is the lowest piece of scum on the face of the world.

" I just can't do anymore. I can't stomach anymore of your lies. Ben"

He started pacing around the room with the look of a spoilt child who is about 10 seconds away from having a temper tantrum.

" Where the fuck has this all come from Vivian. Who the hell have you been talking to?"

Ben's like a time bomb waiting to go off at any moment. I did love my husband but most of the time he scares me .

I'm worried constantly about what he is going to do. How he is going to react and who he is going to fuck.

" No one. I just can't handle all of your bullshit anymore."

I could hear the anger and bitterness that was radiating out of my voice.

Ben stopped pacing and came towards me with large long strides. He stuck out his hand and placed it gently on my shoulder but my body automatically flinched away from his.

" Did you honestly think I would hit my own wife? ", Ben spit out.

I took a step back because he is starting to scare me. I hate it when he gets all worked up like this it makes me feel so small and worthless.

Ben stepped closer to me and I could feel his warm breath on my face.

"Vivian I love you. You know how much I love you. I would never hurt you or the children. Just trust me OK ."

He lifted his hand up to my cheek and slowly brushed away a loose piece of hair that was out of place and tucked it behind my ear.

" Ben, that's all lies. You have hurt me and the children "

I pushed him away from me and began repeatedly hitting my knuckles on his chest.

Each strike made me feel better and I watched as all my hatred and anger was channelled out of my body.

" I hate you, I hate you"

Ben just stood there silent as I attacked him with every ounce of strength I could muster.

All my anger left and I stopped hitting him. Sadness washed through my body as I realised what I'd just done made me no better than him.

It tore its way through my body and I collapsed on to the floor crying.

" This..... this is all your fault" I keep on muttering that phrase over and over.

Ben looks horrified but I can't think of him right now, not when I'm in this state.

I need to put myself first for once.
Then the children, then after when their happy can I worry about my husband.

But I'm no good to anyone like this.

I need to be strong and brave.

I need to be there for my children and be a positive example for them.

Ben's reaction today has opened up my eyes. I do love my husband but the children have to come first.

I have waited too long for Violet to calm down.  It looks like this isn't some sort of phase. Well, I knew that all along.

It's time I got my little girl back. She is a 37-year-old woman all she wants is to be recognised as an adult.

I know that now. I'm not going to listen to Ben anymore. I tried doing things his way and look at how they turned out. This time I'm doing things my way and in the end, everything will work out.

Pushing myself off the floor I wipe the tears off my face, brush the dirt off clothes and tame my unruly hair with my hand.

Looking straight into Ben's face I smile a little and tell him what's going to happen from now on.

"Ben, your doing things my way know. You don't make any decisions or speak to anyone unless I say so. Otherwise, I will leave you"

Turning round I walk away. I have a daughter I need to find.

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Hey guys.
I just wanted to say that I'll try to update more seen as it's the Easter holidays and I have nothing better to do. ( hopefully every other day, but no promises)

I just found out that Vivian and Bens son is actually called Jeffrey so if you see Jeffrey instead of Dylan do not be confused.

And that's all I really wanted to say.

If you're on Easter Break I hope you have a lovely holiday.

Till next time
Wolf Tiger Lilly Girl
Xx