Two Hearts In One Home

Pain and guilt

It was finally time for the funeral. Louis had hardly slept anything in three weeks. He had been arguing with Ethan's family about the funeral arrangement. He just wanted to give him the funeral Ethan would have wanted but his family was so focused on what they wanted instead. Louis's mum had finally stepped in and had a heart-to-heart with him, telling him that a funeral was meant for the ones grieving, the ones left behind. Ethan was dead so... Louis had taken a step back after that and the funeral would be in the family Catholic church in Ethan's hometown.

He had been on sick leave from work. It wasn't any better even if there was no way he could concentrate on work right now. He avoided their apartment like the plague. Their bed haunted him and he couldn't sleep in it without Ethan. After a couple of restless nights on the couch, his mum stepped in again and asked him to come home so he did. His family did their best to take care of him and he got a couple of hours of sleep in his old room but mostly he was just crying.

On the day of the funeral, he put on a black suit. His family went with him. They had all loved Ethan. He somehow made it through the funeral, deeply hurt by the fact that the priest didn't even mention him. Like he didn't matter. Like he hadn't been by Ethan's side for the last three years. Like they weren't supposed to get married. He would never forgive Ethan's family for turning their love for each other into nothing. Insignificant. He was ready to throw punches but he wouldn't do that to Ethan. Not at his funeral.

At least he got to be one of the coffin carriers. He couldn't believe that the funeral was almost over. After this, he would only have a grave to go to. He would never see Ethan smile again or hear his voice or laughter. He would never kiss him again or hold him in his sleep. He wipes his eyes with his sleeve and grabbed the handle to the coffin. They walked in silence.

He stood next to Ethan's family as the coffin was lowered to the ground. He couldn't tear his eyes away. His sight got dim from his tears but he didn't care. His mum came and stood next to him and put a hand on his arm for support. It was comforting.

He looked up just to find someone staring at him. Green eyes met his. He had never seen the man before. He was gorgeous. What the hell was wrong with him? He couldn't believe that he just thought that while his dead fiance was put into the ground. He looked away.

When the ceremony was done he felt hollow. He couldn't move.
"Take your time sweetie. We'll wait in the car." His mum said and kissed him on the cheek.

People left and soon he was alone with Ethan's family.
"So we're having a memorial at our house. You of course invited." Ethan's brother Charlie said.

Why was it the first he heard of it?
"Thanks. I'm gonna go back to Doncaster." Louis mumbled.

They looked relieved. He hated them for being so unaccepting of him and Ethan, even after their son's death.
"When can we pick up Ethan's belongings?" Laura, Ethan's mother asked.

Louis stared at her. The thought of Ethan's family going through their apartment, their home, made him nauseous.
"Give me a week to pack it."

"Okay." Laura agreed. They all turned around to walk to the parking lot but Louis didn't move.

"Excuse me, are you Ethan Lawrence's family?" A voice sounded and Louis looked up just to find that green-eyed stranger that had been staring at him earlier approaching them.

The Lawrence family stopped in their tracks.
"Yes?" Stand father said.

"I'm sorry for your loss." The man said. He seemed nervous.

"Thank you. Were you friends with our son?" Mr. Lawrence questioned.

"No. I just wanted to pay my respects. My name is Harry Styles. Your son donated his heart to me. He saved my life." The man said.

Louis gasped and stumbled backward. His eyes trailed down to the man's chest. He had Ethan's heart. Ethan's heart was beating in that man's chest while Ethan was laying ten feet down in a coffin. It was too much to take in.
"How dare you show up at Ethan's funeral?"

"I just wanted to say thank you." He was looking at him with eyes filled with compassion.

Louis just turned around and walked away without another word. Ethan had done a wonderful thing. He had saved that man and probably others with his organs but it wasn't fair. Ethan should be here. He looked over his shoulder. Ethan's family was hugging that man. He who got to live instead of Ethan. Hypocrites. They had been so against the organ donation. Screw them.

He opened the door to the passenger seat and got in.
"Are you okay?" His mum immediately asked.

"No. I'll tell you later. Let's just go home." Louis muttered.

They held their own memorial. Jay had made food and they all sat down and told fond memories of Ethan.

Later when his sibling had gone to bed he sat down with a cup of tea and told his mum about what happened by the grave.
"And he just showed up to announce that he has Ethan's heart!" Louis finished.

"Maybe it was bad timing, he could have waited, but now you at least know that Ethan saved him and many others. Isn't that at least something to feel good about?" Jay asked carefully.

"Maybe. I rather have him alive." Louis sighed.

"Of course, sweetie." Jay answered sadly.

Louis went to bed and returned to his apartment the day after. He spent five days packing up Ethan's personal things. It felt morbid. He cried a lot but he just wanted it to be over with. He kept a few things for himself, pictures and Ethan's favorite sweatshirt and aftershave.

The place felt empty when he was done. He didn't want to live in this apartment anymore. He needed a change.

He called Ethan's dad and they showed up the next day to collect his things. They said an awkward goodbye. Louis knew that he wouldn't see them again and he was fine with that. He had never liked them since they never supported their son when it came to the two of them.

He closed the door behind them and sat down in the living room and looked around. He couldn't stay here. He needed a fresh start.