Two Hearts In One Home

Depression, reflection and loneliness

He worked, he went to therapy and he tried to sleep without success. He had gone from sleeping away his days to not being able to sleep at all. Grief counseling was fucking rough.

He stayed up until four in the mornings, watching some crappy tv until he finally crash on the sofa, getting a maximum of three hours of sleep every night. He mentioned it to his therapist and she prescribed some sleeping pills. He hesitated but decided to give it a try and he could finally fall asleep at a decent hour, not feeling like a zombie at work.

Two months later he was in a better place emotionally. He was more calm and relaxed. Talking with his therapist had somehow made him reach acceptance. Sometimes horrible things happen in life. Sometimes you lost a loved one. He was fortunate to have had so many wonderful years with him, and he would always be in his memories. He wished with all his heart that Ethan would still be alive but he slowly started to accept that he wasn't.

His new co-workers seemed to sense a change in his mood. Until now they hadn't really spoken but now they tried to include him in the group, especially a guy his age named Liam. He had also moved to London recently and didn't really know anyone so when he asked if Louis would like to go out for a beer sometime Louis immediately agreed. They had the weekend off and met up on Saturday at a small pub. It was the first time Louis went out in London. The first time he did nothing else than just lay in his bed since he moved to the city. He was a little nervous but that went away fast when he met up with Liam who was a really nice guy. He felt comfortable in his company.

After their second round of beers Liam leaned back in his chair. He seemed to hesitate.
"What?" Louis questioned.

"I'm not trying to pry but are you okay?" Liam asked.

"I'm getting there." Louis shrugged.

"Wanna talk about it?" Liam offered.

"Ehm...my fiance died six months ago. We were in a car accident and he..." Louis shook his head in an effort to remove the mental image of Ethan on that car hood.

"Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss." Liam responded compassionately.

"Thank you." Louis said simply.

Liam seemed to be at a loss for words so Louis mustered a smile.
"Anyway, tequila?"

"Sure." Liam agreed.

Louis got up and headed to the bar. He managed to squeeze himself between two people waiting to make their orders at the bar and accidentally bumped into one of them.
"Sorry." He apologized and glanced at the man in question. Green eyes met his and he let out a loud gasp.
"It's you!"

Harry Styles, the man with Ethan's heart. Louis felt sick. He stumbled backward and returned to his table hurriedly. His heart was beating fast.
"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." Liam commented.

"I have to go." Louis panicked.

He turned around and crashed into someone. He lost his balance but steady hands reached out and kept him on his feet.
"Oops! I'm sorry."

He looked up just to find that damn Harry Styles standing in front of him. He shook his arms to make him let go of him and Harry took his hands away.
"Hi." Why did he just say that? Stupid. Louis tried to walk past him but Harry stopped him.

"Wait! I just want to apologize. I shouldn't have shown up at the funeral like that. I'm sorry. It's you, right? Ethan's boyfriend?" Harry said.

Louis stared him down.
"Fiance and don't say his name. You had no business going to his funeral. I'm glad that his heart saved you it whatever but I don't need to be reminded that his heart beats in your chest. Now excuse me, I need to get out of here."

Harry didn't respond and Louis hurried off. It felt like he was having a panic attack. He managed to get outside and drew in a sharp breath of air. He heard running steps behind him and feared that it was Harry so he turned around quickly but it was just Liam.
"Hey, are you okay? That guy has your fiance's heart? That's messed up."

"It's...great. It really is. Ethan was a wonderful person and the last thing he did was saving people with his organs and I love that. It's just a little weird to know that his heart is beating in that man's chest." Louis tried to explain.

"Yeah, I get that. Come on, let's grab a burger or something." Liam suggested.

"You can go back in. I'm sorry that I ruined your night out." Louis replied.

"It's not ruined. So, burger?" Liam smiled.

"Yeah, okay." Louis said and returned the smile.

The night started well. He would make sure that it ended that way too. He just had to forget about the middle part where he ran into Harry Styles, the stranger with Ethan's heart. If only this Harry had been a little less attractive. That just pissed him off. He had a feeling that Harry Styles wasn't just someone you forgot about. Maybe Ethan's heart had something to do about it but he would sure as hell not find out. London was a big city. The risk of running into him again was minimal. He liked those odds.

Halfway through a juicy burger and a great company he had forgotten all about that Harry Styles. Well, almost...