Two Hearts In One Home

Emotionally avoidance and acceptance

A month later he and Harry were inseparable. They had become close, closer than he had ever been with anyone, including Ethan. They just clicked and he was grateful to have a friend like Harry.

He had introduced Harry to Liam and Niall. Harry brought his friend Zayn and they all went out to a pub for a couple of beers. After that, they all hung out regularly, sometimes all of them or in different pairing. Louis spent the most time with Harry who showed him around in London. They had their regular coffee at their place and on Sundays, they usually crawled up on Harry's couch and watched a movie. Louis laid on Harry's chest and listened to his heart beat. It calmed him. Harry never commented on it. He just rested his hand on his hip, holding him loosely while they watched something on the tv.

He had all these feelings that he wasn't ready to face so he did his best to push them away. He felt guilty. It hadn't even been a year since Ethan died even if the day was approaching. He was so confused and he had no idea where Harry was in all of this. So he ignored and played obliviously. It was easier that way.
His therapist wasn't pleased with his avoidance but he wasn't pleased with the situation so... He didn't talk about it with anyone.

It wasn't like they were doing anything that would be considered dating. They were friends. Just cuddly friends. Harry was easy to talk to as well. They could spend hours talking and laughing. He still missed Ethan but it didn't hurt as much. He could think about him without feeling that excruciating pain that he had lived with since Ethan passed. He talked to his therapist about it and she told him that it was a good thing. He was moving on. That made him feel guilty but she assured him that it was okay.

Before he knew it December arrived. The date of the accident was approaching and he felt like he needed to visit Ethan's grave. He hadn't seen the gravestone. He just packed up his things and fled. That put him in a funky mood. Harry obviously noticed and asked him about it one evening after a delicious meal that Harry had prepared. They were cuddling on the couch as usual.
"You seem down, Lou. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. It's just...the day of the accident is coming up. First anniversary or whatever. It's not like it's a celebration." Louis sighed and put his ear against Harry's chest so he could hear his heartbeat.

Harry tensed underneath him and Louis furrowed his eyebrows. Was this something they couldn't talk about?
"I'm sorry. No wonder you are sad."

"I need to go visit the grave next weekend. It's time." Louis replied.

"You haven't been there since the funeral?" Harry wondered.

"No. Ehm, would you like to go with me?" Louis asked and raised his head so he could look at Harry.

They locked eyes and Harry brushed a strand of hair from his face, making Louis's heart beat stupidly fast from the tender gesture.
"Of course, if you want me to."

"I would love some company. We can ask the boys too." Louis smiled.

"Okay." Harry said softly and returned the smile.

Their smiles faded and Louis realized how close their faces were. His eyes flickered to Harry's lips and he panicked. He sat up and reached for his phone.
"I'll text them right now."

Liam, Niall, and Zayn responded within minutes.
"They're coming. So, road trip on Saturday?"

"Alright." Harry agreed.

"I should get going. See you tomorrow?" Louis asked.

"Yeah." Harry smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

After a quiet Friday with Harry at his place, he woke up early on Saturday morning and took a shower before he got dressed and ate some breakfast. At ten there was a knock at his door and he went to open it to find the whole gang outside.
"Ready?" Liam asked.

"Yeah, let me just get the keys." Louis smiled and gave them all a quick hug before he put a jacket and some shoes on. He grabbed the car keys and they all headed downstairs. Harry took the passenger seat and no one protested. Louis sat behind the wheels and Liam, Zayn and Niall climbed in the back.
"Seatbelts!" Louis demanded. Harry had already fastened his and Louis waited to turn on the engine until the guys in the back had managed to put their on.

He took off. The radio was playing and the guys were chatting in the backseat. Louis glanced at Harry. He was awfully quiet, staring out the window. Louis touched his thigh to get his attention.
"Hey, are you alright?"

Harry turned his head to look at him with a soft smile on display.
"Yeah, you?"

"I'm okay. A bit anxious." Louis admitted.

Harry put his hand on his and squeezed it reassuringly for a second before he removed it and went back to staring out the window.
"So where are we going?" Niall shouted from the backseat.

"York." Louis said.

"I thought you're from Doncaster?" Niall questioned.

"Yeah, but Ethan was from York. His parents buried him there." Louis explained.

They kept talking to each other in the backseat while Louis drove to York. He and Harry only exchanged a few words. He stopped in front of a flower shop when they arrived.
"I'll just be a minute."

He got out of the car just to find all of them getting out as well.
"We want to buy flowers too." Zayn explained.

He was moved by that and was afraid that his voice wouldn't carry him so he just smiled and nodded his head. They went inside the store. He bought a flower bouquet and the boys got a single white rose each. They got back in the car and Louis drove to the cemetery.