I realize

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For the first time in a long time,
I realize that I don't need you with me.
I just want you to be there for me whenever I need someone.

For the first time in my life,
I realize it's never me that doesn't want to let you go.
It's just you who always decided to show up whenever I almost forget your existence in my life.

And the first time since I know you,
I realize I don't have to be better so that you can see me the way I want you to see me,

I just need to see my worth the way I deserve. Only then, I will be better. 
Not for you. But for myself and everyone that truly sees me before I even did.

So for the first and final time hopefully,
I decided I will live only for myself. No one else. And definitely not for you.
Because only then, I can find my peace in this cruel world.

I realize.

Sincerely me,
Az.Ra

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