“Whoa. It’s almost the same as it was the last time I came.” Anna observed, stroking a finger over a particularly dusty spot as the memories began to resurface.
“That’s the point,” Tonks sighed as she stretched out her arms, walking towards the center of the room. “No one knows about this place - except the select few who do, and they never come here. Not even Remus.”
Anna made a face as she turned back to face her. “I don’t get it. You said that you could help me get rid of my...subconscious or whatever. What does me sneaking out here all the way out nowhere have to do with any of it?”
“Because, we are going to train.” Tonks threw Anna a pair of fingerless gloves that she barely managed to snag midair.
“We’re...boxing?” She asked incredulously. “Why the hell would I need my fists when I have my wand? Besides - it’s not like I don't know how to throw a punch.”
“You train your physical body first, and the mental comes after. It’s all a process.” Tonks attempted to explain. “Did you know that the human body is capable of lifting an automobile? We’re strong enough to break our own bones and rip off our own thumbs - but we don’t because mentally, we’re holding back.”
Anna cocked an eyebrow. “I’m not looking to rip my arm off - I’m here because you said you could get rid of this Cedric-thing.”
“And don’t you see yet?” Tonks questioned her. She leaned half hearted against a hanging bag, though her earthy-brown eyes were serious - the golden flecks within burning with an emotion Anna could only describe as some kind of adultly wisdom - the kind that people had when they knew exactly what was going through your head, even if you yourself didn’t. “I don’t know what happened between you and Cedric - but you’re obviously holding something back. And until you come out with it, and learn to cope with it, we’re going to train here every night.”
She narrowed her eyes. “This is ridiculous. I’m leaving.”
But before she could stalk off, Tonks had grabbed her by the arm. “Anna, please.” In actuality, it would be so easy just to shove Tonk’s grip off her and resume her everyday life. It would be so easy just to walk away from everything. But she knew the same thing Tonks somehow knew.
Anna needed help.
And she had to get it before it was too late.
She faltered. “I...I can’t tell you.”
“You can.”
“I can’t. I made a promise.”
I don’t want to deal with it anymore.
“You won’t tell me now but, you will eventually.” Tonks warned her. “And you’ll be all the better for it.”
Before Anna could protest, Tonks had already retreated a few steps back and waved Anna towards the bag. “So - you said you could throw a punch? Mind showing it? Or have you already forgotten how?”
“You’re such a-” Anna muttered lowly, but was cut off by Tonks throwing a fist towards her solar plexus - knocking her back a fair few feet as she landed on some dusty pillows. “What the bloody hell?”
Tonks shrugged, only offering Anna a hand. “You’ve got to think fast. We’re sparring now. I gave you a warning.”
“I thought we were punching the bloody bag!”
“That’s for technique. This is to show me how much you know and how far we need to go.” Tonks threw her head back, sweeping her rose bangs from her eyes. “So - are you really ready now?”
Anna scowled, but got back on her feet as she put her fists up, guarding her face as well as she remembered.
Tonks was sudden - swinging her legs with a delicate yet swift barrage of kicks. It was clear that she favored her feet, while Anna favored her hands - getting in a good punch or two once in a while before Tonks had landed her foot into Anna’s gut, causing her to cough as the air was forced out of her as she landed on her knees onto the ground.
“Your technique isn’t too shabby - though definitely rusty. The main problem is that you aren’t attacking unless I provoke you.”
She glared as she sat back on one knee. “So I should just go all in at every fight - just throwing myself into danger with every given moment?” Anna snarked.
“No, but you shouldn’t be putting yourself in a position to be pushed around until you have to push back.” Tonks placed her hands on her hips. “And it’s not like you're scared. You’re holding back. Just like I told you.”
“So what do I do about it?” Anna asked dryly.
“We work on it. At least, if you’re willing to.” Tonks held out her hand yet again - though this time, it was clear that there was something more in the gesture. “Are you?”
There was one thing Anna knew for sure - out of all the lies she told herself, she knew that if there was one thing she needed to know, it was how to cope. She had never been good with heartache or loss - and if she didn’t start learning how to confront her feelings, she was never going to get better. Instead, she would just go deeper and deeper until she was dragging her friends down along with her.
And that was something she was not going to let happen.
As much as she hated Tonk’s therapy, she hated her own demons more.
So it was with a firm grasp that Anna accepted her offer. She nodded. “My life - my rules. I’m not letting my past control me any longer. Not anymore.”
YOU ARE READING
Lillian 'Anna' Potter || Order of the Phoenix
Fanfiction"SOMETIMES, IT'S EASIER TO FORGIVE THAN IT IS TO FORGET." It was revealed by J.K Rowling that when Lily Potter originally died, she was with child. What if Lily had her second child before Voldemort showed up at their house in Little Whinging? H...
