Anna stood before her empty trunk, knowing she was supposed to be packing, but not able to summon the will to do so. Her clothes still laid in heaps on her bed, the rumpled sheets matching her state of mind.
It was impossible to think straight when her mind was muddled in chaos.
The most feared wizard of the century wanted to mentor her. For whatever reason why, she had yet to understabd. But she had done the one thing that had killed many talented wizards and witches - she had made herself interesting.
And now Voldemort had his focus on her.
Meaning all of his followers, everyone would be looking at her to see what she would do next.
Some might even resort to desperate measures to stop her.
And if they killed her, that would mean the end of defeating Voldemort.
That was an outcome that could never happen.
She clenched her teeth.
So why couldn’t she just do it? Why couldn’t she just tell Harry the truth and be over and done with it?
The truth was, she had been a fraud from the start. Too cowardly to be a Gryffindor, too naive to be a Slytherin. She supposed she had never truly belonged anywhere, only destined for failure.
Many things had planned out for her, but a viable future was not one of them.
Yet there was a wicked part inside of her that clung to life itself. A part of her that would not let her do it; an instinct yearning for survival.
Why could nothing ever be easy?
“Anna?” Ginny’s head peeked through the door. Her eyes flicked between Anna’s prone form and the empty trunk in front of her. “We’re leaving today, you know?”
“I know.” Anna inhaled sharply. “It’s just…hard.” Hard to do anything; to pack, to clean, to breathe.
Ginny passed the threshold and came further into the girl’s dormitory, a crease between her brows. “I’m worried about you. And I know you aren’t okay, so I’m not going to ask but-” She bit her lip. “Please. Can I do anything to help?”
Anna attempted to smile, though she was sure she missed the mark. “Not right now, Gin. But thanks." Being here with me is enough.
She didn’t say the words, but she was sure Ginny understood.
Ginny smiled sadly, as she began picking up various items of clothing. “Well, the least I can do is help you pack up. Seriously, Boudica is not a patient cat.”
Memories of Boudica surfaced, and a true smile broke out across her face. “I suppose you’re right.”
Between the two of them, they finally managed to get Anna ready to board the express - even if it did take a fair amount of force to shove a few stray items inside.
“You know, maybe we could have a service for Sirius at the Burrow,” Ginny was saying as they walked along the station, shoulder to shoulder. “Gather everyone from the Order to remember him.”
Anna nodded absentmindedly, unable to say anything else.
Sirius had died because of her - defending her from a curse that she had been too weak to block herself.
“Give it up. You can’t do anything anyway. You’re helpless.”
She rubbed at her arms, phantom pain still present from when Bellatrix had shoved her against that wall. Though it had been her words that had affected Anna the most.
Why couldn’t she have just been the slightest bit stronger? Why can’t she ever be strong enough to protect the people she loves?
"Anna."
Anna sees him before she hears him.
His eyes are unreadable as he nods in her direction.
“Draco.” She returns, though her stomach turned. The two hadn’t spoken ever since what had happened in Umbridge’s office.
Ginny only stares.
He nods at a nearby area, relatively absent of bustling students. “Can…can we talk?”
His face is so sincere, she can’t refuse.
With a reassuring nod to Ginny, together, the two made their way away from the loudness of the crowds, settling into their own space.
“I’m sorry.” Draco begins. His jaw is tight. “About everything. I should’ve never trusted Umbridge. I..I should’ve-”
“I know you’re sorry.” She smiles. “I forgave you a long time ago.”
His brows furrowed in confusion. “Then why have you been avoiding me?”
Anna sighed, rubbing at her temples. “It’s not you, Draco. I’ve been avoiding everything. Everyone. I’m still just trying to process everything that happened.”
Anna looked over, turning to face the setting sun. She didn’t flinch as its orange rays burned her retinas. “I’m tired of losing people. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but it never gets easier.”
“No,” He agreed. “It doesn’t.”
She doesn’t meet his gaze. “Then you understand. Why we can never be together.”
There’s a long silence. When Anna’s eyes flick over for a brief moment, she catches something in his eyes that looked a lot like determination.
“Yes.”
Anna closed her eyes, though the heartache threatens to consume her whole.
Of course he wouldn’t want her. Why did she even think otherwise?
She knew it was foolish to do this, when all she wanted to do was embrace him and hold him close to her heart.
Yet it would be too painful to let someone in, only to lose them all over again.
Anna would rather never have a beginning then have another thing ripped away from her once again.
But she didn’t let the pain show as she turned to face him, carefully arranging her features to only reflect numbness. Any emotion was acceptable, as long as it wasn’t heartbreak.
“Goodbye, Draco.”
I’m sorry.
She wasn't sure if she was apologizing to him, or to herself.
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Another book finally finished! I just want to say thank you to everyone who has gotten this far, and I hope you all are enjoying Anna’s character arc, as she delves deeper and begins to find an even darker part of herself she didn’t even know existed.
The next book should be up soon enough, once I get an outline set up and summon the strength to keep going with these weekly updates, lol. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but school is very good at keeping me busy :).
Again, thank you so much and I hope you all have an amazing day! <3
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Lillian 'Anna' Potter || Order of the Phoenix
Fanfiction"SOMETIMES, IT'S EASIER TO FORGIVE THAN IT IS TO FORGET." It was revealed by J.K Rowling that when Lily Potter originally died, she was with child. What if Lily had her second child before Voldemort showed up at their house in Little Whinging? H...
