My Reoccurring Dreams Vol. I

#030

"Get the fuck off me!" I hissed at him. He tried his best to stay silent as he practically pulled my arm out the socket. "Let me go now!" I said hitting his hand. He then took a deep breath before throwing me over his shoulder. "Put me down boy I'm not playin' your stupid game no more!" I screamed, trying to get down. The whole time he was ignoring me or at least I thought he was. Either way I was tired. Tired of him, tired of his games, his lying, allat shit. I hated that he acted like that and that night I had found a good ass replacement too. "I'm gettin' real sick of yo crazy ass." He mumbled. "Take you some medicine and kiss my ass." I said still trying to get down.

His grip on me tightened as we got closer to the car. When he finally put me down I shoved him. "I hate you!" I screamed, "you get to do whatever and I'm just supposed to wait around and be miserable?" He sat there staring at me as I continued to rant. "You think it's all fun and games until the roles are reversed huh?" I said mushing just forehead. He slapped my hand away as I felt my body get hot. My eyes welled up with tears as I continued screaming at him. I felt a lump in my throat and my vision got blurry. I felt sick and that made me even more mad. "It's not fair." I screamed trying to resist the urge to hit him again. He snatched me up quickly when I thought I was gonna hit him. "The fuck is you doin' allat for?" He said firmly, "Hm? Why you yellin' at me like you fuckin' crazy?"

I continued screaming as I was on the verge of tears. "Shut up.." He said as I kept screaming over him. His grip on my arms got tighter as tears fell from my eyes. "Bro what are you on about?" He asked as I ignored him to continue my rant. "Fuck you.." I screamed, "I hope dat other bitch want you cause I don't wanna be wit yo ass no more." Something about that struck a specific nerve in him. "Who the fuck is you talkin' to like that?" He asked, grabbing my throat. I continued whining and crying, not having anything else to say. "That's what I thought." He said, looking me in the eyes. "I hate you." I said wiping my face. He looked completely fed up with me and I didn't really care to be honest. I was right about everything I was saying, he just didn't wanna hear it. And despite getting back at him I was still upset. "Why don't I feel better?" I asked myself, "I got even and I still feel pain." He let go of my throat, shoving me away from him. I assumed he didn't want me in his face and trust me the feeling was mutual.

I got in the backseat not wanting to be bothered or touched by him. "Christa." He said sounding irritated. I pretended not to hear him as my blood boiled. He called me again and I looked at him, not saying anything. "Christa if I gotta come back there and get you we gon' have a serious problem." He said firmly. I caught an attitude even bigger than the one I already had as I reluctantly got in the front seat. He didn't even look satisfied or happy. He just wanted to boss me around because he felt like it. That's partially my fault because I make him feel like he can. Most times when he tells me to do something I listen. If he calls I answer and if he needs me I'm there for him. At first it was okay, doing little things and my basic job as a concept artist. But things change when you get too touchy feely with someone who works for you.

Part of me feels like this was all some scheme for him to fuck me and take advantage of my profession. But the other part of me feels like he doesn't want me working for him at all. Sometimes I think he'd prefer for me to be like all the other girls and just be there when he needs it and then leave him alone when he doesn't. But he needs me permanently as of now. He can move forward without me sure but the visuals will definitely will change drastically and people will notice that. The visions that everyone love so much are something I created and he needs that. Not only that but the moment I stop working for him he won't be able to use shit of mine. Call it petty, childish or whatever the fuck, but if he acts like he doesn't need me on a personal level why should I let him keep me on a business level?

I sat there and I didn't say shit to him at first. Then midway through the ride he put his hand on my thigh and I moved it. "Bro what's your problem?" He asked almost whining. I looked at him and said, "Nigga do you really want an answer to that dumbass question?" I could tell I really rubbed him the wrong way with that but I didn't care. "Keep gettin' smart and I promise you-" He started. I had cut him off cause I was high and I was irritated. "Nigga you don't run me so stop acting like you do. It's dumb that you get to do shit with whoever you want but when I do it it's a problem." I said. "I never said you couldn't do whatever you wanted." He sighed getting tired of arguing. "Well that's how you fuckin' act and I'm tired of you really." And he chuckled and said "Oh okay"