My Reoccurring Dreams Vol. I

#035

I finally made it to the house and when I got in he was sitting in his room smoking some more. "Christa." He whined trying to see if was me. I tried not to say anything since I didn't wanna be bothered. Then he whined, "Christa is that you?" I started to feel bad and shouted "yeah it's me." I sat on the couch in the living room and took off my shoes. "Come here!" He whined, sounding completely out of it. "What do you want?" I asked. "I just wanna talk to you." He pouted. "I can hear you just fine from right here." I said not wanting to get up. I seriously didn't want to be bothered, especially since he was crossfaded. "PLEASSSSEEE" he begged. "Fine, here I come." I said rolling my eyes.

I walked in there and he patted his lap for me to come sit down. I reluctantly sat down and asked, "what do you want?" He started to whine some more burying his face into my neck. "Do you still hate me?" He asked."I never said that." I sighed. "I can tell you do though." He pouted."Why am I all of a sudden your girlfriend now?" I asked him. He paused for a minute. "You were always my girlfriend,what are you talking about?" He said not sounding serious. He was clearly crossfaded so he was just saying shit. "Take a nap and sober up before you talk to me." I said being done with him."Nooo! I'm serious." He whined. "nope go to sleep." I said as I left out the room and turned off the light.

I sat and watched tv for like a hour and a half and then he came in there standing next to me. I pretended not to see him thinking he'd pretend I was invisible like he did any other time. He picked up the remote and turned the tv off. So I didn't really have a reason not to look at him. I looked up, having a bit of an attitude. "Can we talk now?" He asked. I nodded and he sat down next to me. "What's wrong?" He asked. "You need to make up your mind." I said firmly. "I just did but you don't seem to like that idea either. I don't know what you want from me." He said rubbing his forehead. "All I wanted was for you to make a choice AND STICK TO IT." I said, "You can't seem to be with just me when you claim that's what you want so why bother? If you don't want me and ONLY me someone else does. I know that much."

He pulled me closer to him and held me tightly. "I know that. But I want you here so stay." He said to me. "You don't act like it. When everyone else is around you forget about me. You tell people I'm important but your actions say otherwise." I said pushing him off me."You half wanna be around me anyways, Especially today." He said sounding a little hurt, "It was my birthday and you couldn't even set your feelings aside for that." This was now the fourth time someone told me to put my emotions aside for theirs and I was getting ready to blow a fuse. "Nigga that's cause I set my feelings aside for literally everything else." I said raising my voice. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow but like a dumbass I continued to rant. "You don't seem to care about anyone's feeling but your own. You definitely don't care about mine especially." I yelled becoming emotional. I didn't realize I was yelling until he grabbed my throat.

"Stop fuckin' yellin' like people can't hear you." He said to me firmly. I looked away from him cause a bitch was tired. I was tired of him trying to mind fuck me into whatever delusion would benefit him. I was tried of him lying to me. And most importantly I was tired of being alone when I didn't have to be. "Look at me." He demanded. I didn't want to so I continue to look the other way. "Look at me when I'm talkin to you." He said firmly. I looked at him and he looked tired of me. "Stop actin like we ain't got neighbors one, And two don't fuckin' yell at me. The fuck is wrong witchu?" He said jerking me a little. He let go of me and I wanted to leave. "Are we done here or no? Cause I'm tired and I'm lowkey finna leave." I said trying to walk away. "Where you goin'?" He asked grabbing my hands. "Away from yo indecisive ass." I said snatching my hands away, raising my voice again. "Stop talkin to me like you crazy." I just rolled my eyes and said, "ok whatever."

"And don't fuckin' brush me off either." He snarled grabbing my arm again. "Get the fuck off me." I hissed trying to snatch my arm away. "That's yo problem now, you always wanna argue and shit." He said, getting irritated. "It's not a argument, I'm leavin' yo crazy right here." I said. "Watch how you speak to me." He said gripping me harder. "Bro get THE FUCK OFF ME." I yelled. He let go pushing me over onto the couch. He bent down in my face and said, "You got one more time to yell at me like you fuckin' crazy and imma wear yo ass out." I sat there too irritated to even acknowledge him. That and I was kinda scared. "That's what I thought." He said, starting to walk away. And of course my hotheaded ass got mad. "You get on my nerves." I complained. "Do I?" He said being petty. "Yeah cause you doin' a lot for no reason and you finna piss me off." I said.