Walking away from you

Nerves

Do you wanna play a game? It's called nervous.
-Sure? How do I play?
Just tell me when you get nervous.
-Okay?

I was 11 when you decided to touch me for the first time
And you told me it was okay
You had "done it before" with your other cousin,
And I needed to learn it for my boyfriend some day

I wasn't nervous then because the walls were thin. The blind separating us from the shop kept me safe from your skin

A little bit later you stole a kiss,
The last I had was also forced on me, but I neglected to tell you this.
I couldn't believe that at such a young age this was happening again.
But with you, you had me convinced that I was ok with what was happening then.

The new walls where thicker, but my nerves where still calm,
Because your door was open and down the hall was our moms.

A year had gone by, and things had moved fast
The crack in the door got smaller, and you continued to do things when I never asked.

How did no one notice a 12 year old acting like this? Dressing up to go to her uncles house, and disappearing, along with his wife's kid.
The lights where always off, and the door was always cracked.
How did no one notice a 17 year old hanging out with a kid like that.

Your graduation came, and this time no one was home
Your door was finally closed and we were left alone.

You asked me if it hurt.
I lied and told you no
Yeah, you where my first
But you where the one I didn't want anyone to know.

You finally won the game, and scared me that day
Now I can't look in a mirror, and say that I'm ok.

Are you nervous?
-no
What about now?
-yes
How old are you again?
-11
You're to young to know about this