Walking away from you

Unconditionally

Before I even begin fall for someone, I start to pour myself into them. Yes, that is never expected to be returned, but when you decided I was never going to give enough of my self to make you happy.. a simple goodbye would have sufficed.

I never had to give you my time or energy
But I did.
I never had to drive hours to only see you for a few minutes
But there I was.
I never had to talk you through the heartbreak you were enduring
But I answered every call.

And when it all went south..

I always had to ask for your smallest attention
But you hardly gave it.
All I wanted was to be a priority
But you never made it.
And when I was at my lowest, and I needed you the most
The distance between us got the thickest.

I didn't have to tell you that you where loosing me
But I begged you to see it.

Yes, I didn't have to do those things. I shouldn't beg for love, I shouldn't have to ask for those basic needs. And I should love truly unconditionally.
But the thing is, I do. I love you despite your constant glares you give me to this day.
I love you regardless of how you feel about me now. I love you in spite of all the harsh words we've shared. The yelling, the degrading, the way you speak to me like a child, I still love you.

Because that is what unconditional love means. Despite the pain and the hurt, I've loved you through it all. And that will never change.
But even unconditional has boundaries. And when you can't meet the basic needs I pleaded for you to see, I decided I had to love you from a far.

And now? I've decided for myself that this is enough. I can't go on giving my soul away to people who just take it. It is because if this that I am standing here with almost nothing left to give. As my world started to crash and burn, I watched yours grow brighter. And that's ok. I've done this before. I am stronger.

But just know that you where the last unconditional love I'll ever give. And if fate happens to push us together in a new life, it will be you pouring my soul back into me.

But I will keep smiling, asking you if your ok and if you need help. Because, that's the kind of person I am. And you will keep finding excuses to push me away. Because that's the kind of person you are.