violet | j.martell (sequel)

three

➜ CHAPTER 3
[ 5348 words ]

"AUNT AMY" LAUREN WHISPERED SHAKILY, bringing the phone to her ear, trying to be as quiet as possible.

"hey kiddo. need anything?" her aunt's cool voice came from the device, the usual hospital chatter was faint in the background. lauren ran her fingers through violet's hair, making sure that her baby girl was well rested on the bed of her brother's guest room where she was going to spend the night

"i do actually, i uhh — i need a meeting"

"where are you?"

"i'm at justin and audrey's. i just put violet to bed. they said they'd watch over her"

"alright. i just got out of a surgery, i'll pick you up in half an hour"

"God, grant me the serenity to to accept the things i cannot change; courage to change the things i can; and wisdom to know the difference"

lauren was never a big fan of the aa meetings her aunt amelia used to bring her to, especially when she was just starting her recovery. in a way it felt sort of invasive, having to share intricate details of her life with a bunch of strangers just because they too were once alcoholics or drug addicts. but as time went on, she found them quite theraputic. she felt safe with these people despite most of them being about ten to twenty years older than her, probably because unlike most of her peers, they knew what it was like to raise a child.

lauren barely payed attention to the chairperson that was asking for newcomers and first timers, she was zoning out when they were reading from 'the big book' and she was in and out of listening to the sharing of some of the other members. when it was her aunt amy's turn to share, she held her hand out to her for support, giving her aunt a reassuring squeeze, only for her to realize that it was her turn to share right after.

all eyes were on lauren after amelia finished her story. swallowing the lump in her throat, lauren straightened her back, her eyes swept the group halfheartedly, she wasn't really paying attention the people there, it was a force of habit when she was nervous. she took a breath, finally gathering the courage to say

"hello my name is lauren, and i'm a drug addict"

"hello lauren" the group answered back in unison, lauren fiddled with her collar, anxiously turning to her aunt before redirecting her attention back to the rest of the group. a long sigh escaped from her lips, then she continued with

"so, i have — a — as most of you know i have a daughter. her name is violet and she is — the light of my life."

"i had her when i was nineteen, two months before my senior year ended. my life hasn't been the same since"

"but when i was a freshman in college, i met this guy, and i opened up to him about — everything and he introduced me to cocaine and heroin, and when he let me try it i didn't stop"

"and that took me away from violet when she was two, maybe three. i don't know if she even remembers it happening. my family and friends couldn't trust me to raise her, hell my brother and his girlfriend were offering to adopt her. my other friends were too"