I'm still standing

42

Meredith was laying in bed which was practically all the time lately when she heard the babies cry

She desperately wanted to get up and offer them some help but she was useless. She was useless as always

Meredith completely got lost into thoughts that she never had noticed that Derek had walked in with Edith in his arms

It was when Derek took a seat on the bed that she was pulled out of her thoughts

"This little one only wanted to stop crying when she could go see her Nana" Derek winked

"Oh d-did she?" Meredith smirked

"Yep so let me place her on the bed so she can come say hi to you" Derek smiled and did so

Once Edith was resting in Meredith's arms the little girl opened her eyes and looked straight into Meredith's

"She's s-so beautiful" Meredith smiled

"Mer, if I look at her, I see you" Derek smiled "She looks so much like you" He whispered

"I-I l-lo" Meredith started to slur so Derek quickly grabbed the baby out of Meredith's arms

"Ellis! Nena!" He yelled as Meredith started to seize

With the baby in one arm, he tried to use the other one to keep Meredith on her side

"What the hell is happening?" Ellis quickly took a crying Edith out of Derek's arm

"Call an ambulance and Amy" Derek said and helped Meredith through the seizure

Derek started crying by seeing his wife like this. As a neurosurgeon he knew there were two possibilities for this, either epilepsy or the MS was messing with her brain and spine

"Dad, they're here" Ellis ran in with the emergency team

"My wife has MS and just had a seizure, you need to bring her to Grey Sloan memorial. We need to take new scans" Derek informed them

They were carrying Meredith onto the stretcher and Derek held her hand "Be careful!" He snapped at them as they were a bit rough "I'll update you" Derek kissed his daughter's forehead

"We're coming!" Ellis yelled

"Don't hurry. Be careful with those babies" Derek gave her a sad smile as he climbed in the back of the ambulance

Meredith was still unconscious as they reached the hospital

"What's happening?" Amelia asked as she was waiting for them

"She started seizing. We need an MRI now and then we'll run every test we have to see what's happening" Derek ordered

"Derek, I got her" Amelia assured him and followed the stretcher Meredith was on

Derek called Alex, Maggie and the others

"Derek?" Alex just walked around the corner

"Mer had been admitted. She had a seizure" Derek explained as Alex' eyes widened

...

"N-No Der. No m-more tests" Meredith sighed

"Mer, we wanna do a marrow test. Maybe we can see how deep the MS is settling in your spine" Derek pleaded

"Der.. I love you but that t-test is painful and I really d-don't wanna deal with any more p-pain" She sighed

"Mer.." Derek sighed "Okay" He agreed

"I wanna come h-home" She whispered "Next infection I want it to be over" She sternly said

"What do you mean?" Derek gasped

"The k-kids are all settled d-down, they are okay. Our g-grandkids are okay and I can't even properly move my n-neck anymore" She looked right into Derek's eyes

"But I'm not okay.." He teared up "I don't know if I can see you leave yet" Derek grabbed her hand

"Der.." She sighed "I-I don't w-wanna leave you but I-I'm tired"

"Mer" Derek croaked out before he started crying while sobs run through his body

"D-Der, wrap my arms a-around you" Meredith ordered and Derek carefully did so

Meredith was in pain from the movement but nothing was as bad as the pain Derek was feeling in his heart right now

Amelia was standing in the doorframe and didn't wanna disturb this moment so she turned around and decided to wait at the nurses' station

"How is she?" Maggie asked

"Another infection.. It's affecting her spine and brain" Amelia sighed

"So what does that mean?" Maggie asked

"She could lose her full ability to talk with another infection so we need to be very careful" Amelia sighed "Damnit!" She slammed her hand on the desk "She has three kids, a husband and this damn universe is doing this to her?"

Maggie rubbed Amelia's back. They both were hurting but they couldn't even compare to the pain Derek and his family were dealing with

...

"Are you sure?" Derek asked as he was packing Meredith's stuff and she nodded in response

Meredith had decided that she wanted to go home. She had another seizure a bit earlier and knew an infection could come soon so she asked Bailey to let her go home and receive further treatment. Of course Bailey agreed and even offered them her help as did all their other friends

"Ellis ordered pizza, do you think you could try some?" Derek asked with a smile

"A-Always" Meredith smiled softly

"That's my wife" Derek laughed and hung the bag on the back of Meredith's chair "Can I lift you?"

"O-Of course" She smiled and her body diggled in the air as Derek was lifting her from the bed to the chair before he carefully strapped her in

"Let's go home" He smiled as they made their way over to the exit

They both hated the stares they got from the nurses and doctors they barely knew. They hated to be the centre of attention in the hospital gossip but it was over, they were on their way home. No more judging

AN // I'm aware that this is very sad and I'm sorry if people will be angry for what I am doing but I promise you that this story will get the ending it deserves! Feel free to send me ideas <3