Only Words Bleed

Listen To The Music Part 1

I threw yet another piece of crumpled-up paper on the floor. Nothing I drew or wrote was good enough. I flopped back onto my pillow and huffed in defeat. What was I going to do? I couldn't not do anything. She was the most amazing, most spectacular, most breathtaking, most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on.

Our six-month anniversary was coming up in a few days and I had no idea what to get Clem. It would mark half a year. Half a year since we've been together. This had to be perfect. But what was I to get a girl who already had everything?

I had already given Clementine a promise ring on Christmas and that was proving hard to beat. What could I possibly give to her that could top that? The only thing logical that I could think of would be proposing and I couldn't do that, at least not yet. For one, I don't have enough money for an actual diamond ring. And two, we were both still in high school and way too young to even think about getting married. And finally, and most importantly, how could I ask her to marry me if I couldn't even talk?

I looked at my floor which was now covered in balls of paper. I'd come up with an idea but nothing seemed good enough and I'd throw the idea out the door. I thought about giving her a drawing but I didn't feel like that was a grand enough gesture. I thought about writing her a story but I've already done that so many times. I could give her a stuffed animal like she did for me but that felt like I was copying off of her. I could get her chocolates but that felt so generic. I could take her out to dinner, but we could do that any time.

I groaned in frustration and pinched the bridge of my nose. I let out some air in an exaggerated breath trying to calm down. I slipped my hands under my glasses and rubbed my eyes. I'd been at this for hours and my eyes were starting to hurt. I looked at my alarm clock that read two o'five. I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration. I wanted to punch something.

Whoa. I needed to take it easy. I was getting too worked up over this. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. I repeated that a couple of times trying to calm down.

I threw my notebook and pen on the floor with a flop. I needed a break. Actually, I probably needed sleep. I had school in the morning and I didn't want to be tired upon waking. My mind could use a break from working so hard so I took off my glasses and set them on my nightstand beside the bed. Then I slipped under the covers and turned off my lamp.

In the darkness of my room, I could see the stars shining out through my window. I silently prayed that I could find the perfect anniversary gift for the girl of my dreams. And with that, I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

——————

It was only two days until our anniversary and I still hadn't gotten Clem a gift. It was bugging me that I couldn't find my girlfriend a present for our six-month anniversary. But I tried not to dwell on it too much. After all, right now was a time for fun.

The bell had rung to signal the end of the school day and I and Clem walked down the halls hand in hand towards the band room. Today we were in for a treat. Louis, Sophie, and a couple of Louis's music buddies had written a song that they wanted to play for me and my friends. They wanted to test it out before they played a club downtown and needed a handful of people to play as the audience.

We walked through the door to see rows of chairs laid out all around the front of the room which was set up as the quote on quote "stage."

Most of our friends were already there and Brody waved us over. "You guys are just in time. The band is doing some last-minute checks. Then they'll be ready." She said as we took our seats next to her and Ruby in the front row.

I was really excited. This was finally my time to focus on something else besides Clem's present. I was super excited to find out what song they would play. I loved listening to music and writing to it. I used to love it when we'd all sing together in the car when a certain song came on the radio. That was before I had lost my voice. If I'd still been able to talk Louis probably would have asked me to be in the band.