Only Words Bleed

Why I Love My Friends

Violet's Pov:

My breathing is forced and shaky as the needle is inserted into my arm. Clem was here the last time this had happened and I'm desperately trying not to lose it in front of Sophie as I'm given another shot. It's not even the needle that's scary, it's because of the person holding it. I've got nothing against Christa as a person, but I can't help but feel like she's going to do something to me every time she walks into the room.

I was cool last night because I was already too scared to worry about what she could do to me in my vulnerable stage. But right now, I grip Clover tightly in my hands as an attempt to prevent the intense shaking that my body wants to do. It's hard to keep my breathing in check as I try not to hyperventilate.

Sophie places her hand on my shoulder to offer me some comfort, but I'm embarrassed that I'm acting this way in front of her. It's one thing to let it show in front of Clem. I've learned that I can let my guard down and not feel like I'm gonna be judged around her, but I hate being vulnerable in front of my friends.

Sure we've known each other for years, but there was still only so much that I was willing to show in front of them. I've broken down in front of Louis before, but we were closer than everyone else even if I don't like to admit it. Even if he is an idiot at times, he's always been there for me at the worst of times and that's what I love about him. But still, I don't like showing my vulnerable side in front of others. I shouldn't be letting something like this get the better of me and it's embarrassing that I let it bother me when I shouldn't be afraid of it.

Though the shot only lasts for a couple of seconds. I feel so stupid for getting worked up over something so insignificant, but my fear overtakes me every time and I hate it. I also hate the way Christa talks to me after it's over. Like I'm a little kid who deserves a sticker for good behavior. I'm sixteen, not five.

Speaking of five-year-olds, I'm very surprised when AJ of all people comes barreling through the door. He sees me and I swear is eyes light up like a freaken Christmas tree. "Violet!"

He runs over to the side of the bed and I can clearly see how jittery he is with excitement. It makes me silently chuckle and I almost forget about the situation I was just previously in. Then I take notice of what's in his arms and I'm a little worried he might drop the rabbit with all the exciting energy coursing through him. But it's such a cute sight to see him with Woody in his arms.

"Look! I brought you, Woody!" He tells me as he transfers the rabbit onto my lap. "Clem let me carry him and I made sure to take good care of him for you."

I run my hand across Woody's coat and I smile at AJ sending him a thumbs up to show him I approve. Then he seems to get really shy as he holds something else behind his back. "I-I've got another secret message for you."

He pulls out this folded up piece of paper and hands it to me. I smile and take it from him. I go to open it up and I swear my heart melts when I see what's written.

He's drawn a picture of me, him, Clem, and Woody on a grassy hill surrounded by trees and flowers. And me and Clem are freaken holding hands. Then on the other page is the message he wrote out for me. "Violet, I hope you get better really soon and that you can come over again to see me and Clem. And I promise to take good care of Woody while you're at the doctor's. I love that you're part of our family. From: AJ"

"Clem helped me spell the words, but I did everything else," AJ tells me. "And look..." He points to the edge of the page where there seems to be a chunk of paper missing. "I got Woody to sign it too."

I chuckle at this, but I swear I'm about to cry right now. This is literally the sweetest thing AJ could have done for me. So I set the card aside and gesture for AJ to come closer. I open my arms and AJ gladly reciprocates the hug I give him.