Only Words Bleed

Family Struggles

A/N: Hey everyone! I'm back!

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I've been up north without internet or a cell phone signal for that matter, so I haven't been able to really write or post anything. I know that sucks. I hate it too.

Violet's Pov:

"Violet!" My mom rushed over to the side of the bed at seeing me awake.

I cringe because I have no idea how much she knows or what she's been told. Clem said I was out for a little over a day, so I'm sure there's been time for things to sink in. But this is a conversation I've always dreaded. I thought one with Clem was hard, but this is a whole new level of emotion and I honestly don't know what to feel besides worried. I mean, I don't even know how she really feels about me, so how am I supposed to know what to feel about her?

I mean, she is here and she seems worried, but how far below the surface does that really go? The surface could only show so much. I know that from experience; I've always been good at suppressing my emotions. I never seem to show how I'm really feeling so people never really know when somethings wrong. Or at least my parents never knew.

I guess I can't speak for everyone since Clem seemed to figure out so much in so little time. Of course, that's also because things escalated to such extremes. I know she's always had her suspicions, but would she have ever found out the truth if what had happened never began in the first place?

I don't have long to dwell on it because something else strikes me as surprising. Clem picks up Woddy once more and goes to excuse herself, which I hate. I get that she's letting us talk alone, but I loathe her departure. I don't want her to leave me alone, especially with how nerve-racking this conversation is going to be. But I guess it'd be kinda awkward if she stayed, though in all honesty, what doesn't she know that my mom does. Everything that I've kept inside over the past five years has already spilled all over the floor for everyone to see in less than a day.

But what strikes me as odd is when my mom walks past Clem and she actually recognizes her. "Thanks for looking out for her Clem."

I can see Clem smile as she walks out the door. "No problem, Steph."

Shock is written on my face. "How in the hell do those two know each other?" They can't have met before the incident, so they would have had to meet here. "They're on a first-name basis already, after me being in the hospital for a little over a day. What the fuck?"

I mean, I guess I'm okay with that. It just kind of feels awkward. Well, everything kind of feels awkward right now. Ever since the whole thing with Jackson and Grandma and Grandpa, we've kind of drifted apart. That goes tenfold with my dad.

I still remember a time when they both still cared and maybe Steph still does, but I don't know how to feel about that. I've dealt with so much in the last six years and if my mom ever had a hint of what I went through she didn't show it. Maybe she never knew about the struggles I went through and I just always assumed she didn't care enough, or maybe she never really cared until now.

I don't know. And that's what makes this so damn difficult. I just hate being in these fucking situations where I have to explain everything I went through and how it made me feel. It was ten times as hard since I didn't have a voice to actually tell someone. But I guess that actually helps in some ways, I could get away without explaining things for longer. Though I was damn frustrated when I actually wanted to talk and couldn't. And when I did talk, it usually came as a surprise, like my vocal cords made a mistake and let a few words slip. Like, "Hey, were going to let you talk, but it won't be when you want to and it'll be at random times."