My Perfect Adoptive Family

Don't Shut me Out

I follow Ella into her room. She hold her phone over her face, laying on the bed. "Ella?" I whisper as I sit at the foot of her bed. I watch a tear fall from her eyes. "Can I lay here?" I ask quietly.

She shrugs. "If you want," she mumbles.

I lay next to her, looking at her phone. She scrolls through her music. I take the other earbud and put it in my ear. We listen to Kissing on my Tattoos by August Alsina. She locks her phone and puts it on her stomach. I move my face closer to hers, so my nose is just touching her cheek. "I love you," I whisper as I kiss her jaw. She closes her eyes as another tear falls. "What's wrong?"

"Stop lying to me, please. I'm sick of people pretending they care," she cries out.

I climb over her. "I do care, Ella. I'm not lying to you. Please don't shut me out," I beg as she flips over so her back is to me. "Please, Ella."

I wrap my arm around her waist. "I hate myself," she mumbles. I hang my head. "I hate myself so much and I just.."

"Don't say it. Please do not say it," I plead.

She sobs loudly as Riker enters the room. "What's going on?" He growls.

"I want to-"

I cut her off again. "Don't say it!" I yell.

"How the fuck am I supposed to tell him if you won't let me say it!? Stop telling me not to say what I feel!" She yells back.

I groan and get up. "Do you know how hard it is to listen you your girlfriend say she wants to kill herself!?" I scream as I pace back and forth.

She sits up, tears rapidly coming out of her eyes. "Do you know how hard it is for me to pull through everyday without bursting out crying!? Do you know how hard it is everyday not to tell you that I'm cutting myself everyday when I'm alone!? Stop yelling at me for shit you don't understand!" She sobs.

Riker and I stare at her with our mouths wide open. "Ella, are-"

She cuts Riker off. "Shut up! Leave me alone!" She runs into the bathroom.

"Riker, I didn't know," I say as I shudder at the thought of her cutting herself in my presence.

He nods. "I know, you would've told me." He walks over to the bathroom door. I sit on the edge of the bed. "Ella, please open the door. I just want to see you're okay."

She swings open the door. "Of course you can see I'm okay." she huffs. "I'm physically better than okay. I'm sick of mentally ripping myself to spreads everyday." She takes a deep breath. "I'm sick of people breaking promises," she stares into my eyes.

I stand up. "I did not promise you that! I told you maybe and I told you not just to throw it away. I don't want to walk away so you regret doing it with me. I did promise you that I wasn't going to do the same thing to you that Jane did to me!" I growl as I walk over to her.

"Oh, boo who. Jane fucking left you after you fucked. Big deal! Just leave me the fuck alone," she pushes me to get to the bed.

I roll my eyes. "It's not about her or me! It's about you regretting it," I say as I pin her against the bed.

She pushes me off of her. "Fuck you," she spits.

Riker leaves the room. She punches me in my chest. I grab her wrist. "Chill out," I whisper.

She looks into my eyes for a few seconds before nodding. "Right, sorry. Just please get out," she says.

I nod and walk out of her room. I look back at her, watching her wipe her tears. "Hey, text me if you need me," I say softly.

She nods, wiping her eyes. "Ross?" She calls before I close the door.