Start from scratch

Chapter 19 - Mask

Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.

Start from scratch.

Chapter 19 - Mask

Jade's POV

It's been just over month since, how do I describe it, that day since Tori and I fought. I was so hurt and felt so betrayed that when Beck called to invite me to dinner, I just snapped, I guess. His voice as calm and soothing and I just got sucked in.

I told him that I had had rented a spare room in someone's apartment and just got kicked out and asked if I could come back. I had no idea how he'd react.

He said he wanted to meet and I did at a restaurant. He bought me a nice dinner and again apologized numerous times for his actions. He drank soda as he said he was serious about his not drinking anymore. I asked if I could come back again and he said he would love to have me back. I just fell back into the old routine like that.

We ate dinner and talked of good times. Beck told me about the play he was performing and a guest stint on Law and Order SUV. He played a cop who had a few lines.

By the time we finished I knew Tori had gone to work so I told beck I'd meet him back at our place and left. I was still furious at Tori for what she did and I packed as quickly as possible. I left her a simple note with the 150 I owed her for the last month and left. I can't say I didn't have some regrets, but I quickly suppressed any of those feelings as soon as they came up.

Beck welcomed me home and almost immediately treated me like a queen. He couldn't be nicer, more attentive and caring. It was like a dream. I kept expecting him to go back to drinking or the mean version of him to come out. That never happened.

I told him I wanted to hold off on any serious intimacy until we were better established again. I just didn't want to right off, for reasons I couldn't quite explain. Surprisingly he was very accepting and said it was a good idea.

I went with Beck to his AA meetings and indeed he was serious about it.

I could say everything was perfect, like a pristine garden, but it wasn't. Gardens have weeds and my weeds were thoughts of Tori, brief pangs of guilt or just missing her. Each time they came up, I yanked the proverbial weed and threw it away. But they kept popping up, despite me being still angry at her. I told myself they would eventually stop. I loved Beck and that was that.

It's been 5 weeks and we sleep together, cuddle, kiss and fool around a bit, but no sex yet. Part of me wants to, part of me still wants to make sure things are perfect. Though I'm not sure what exactly perfect is. I just can't really define it.

I'll probably never see Tori again, which doesn't sit well with me.

Beck had changed, things were good and all was good.

It was just at the beginning of our sixth week back together and I was at work at the hospital. It was time for lunch and I was headed to the patio outside where I planned to eat, when I heard my name being called.

"Jade West?"

I turned to see a woman in her late 40's with greying brown hair in a business suit. I didn't recognize her at first, but soon remembered. She was Cindy Hill, a casting director I auditioned for last year.

"Cindy Hill, Right?"

She smiled and shook my hand. "Yes, I thought that was you. Nice to see you again. You work here I take?"

It was just after Beck and I moved to New York when Cindy was holding auditions for a new horror film. I auditioned and got to the final three. I talked with her one on one and we got along well. I even found out she did the casting for the Scissoring so I was able to ask her all kinds of questions. I was absolutely sure I had the part nailed, but when I never heard back, I knew I didn't. I was really disappointed by that one.