Fear & Desire ❤️‍🔥

Alone Again

Sitting on the couch where Loki had previously left you, you resumed crying. The betrayal stung. It physically pained you. He made you feel as if you were reliving every moment. All the hurt. The loss of the most important person in your life. The depression. The worst part was that he had the audacity to be upset with your rebuttal. All you did was gift him a taste of his own medicine. Sniffling, you heard your door knock. Standing up, you walked towards it and opened it.

"Y/N. What's the matter?" Bucky asked wrapping his arms around you causing the crying spell that had subsided to resume again.

You couldn't reply. You just sobbed into his chest as you both stood at your door. Pushing you slowly backwards, Bucky entered closing the door behind him with his foot as he lead you back to the couch. He sat you down but still held you close rubbing small circles with his hand on your back.

"I'm here now it's alright y/n, everything's alright"

After a while, you felt yourself able to talk. Looking up at Bucky, you began to speak.

"H-how did you know?" You whispered.

"Loki told me you were upset and that I should check on you" he replied searching your confused face. Loki hadn't told him. Loki didn't tell Bucky what happened. He didn't tell him what he done. He didn't tell him what you'd done. This was when regret overwhelmed you. You regretted what you had did to Loki. Despite him doing it first, you allowed yourself to fall to his level and do the same back knowing exactly how much it hurt. Loki could have just left you alone as you wished but he didn't. He called Bucky.

"What happened y/n?" He asked getting worried at your completive expression.

"Nothing, I did something I shouldn't have" you replied recalling Loki's memories.

"What did you do?" Bucky asked pulling further away from you.

"Nothing nothing" you said reaching back towards him "I'm so glad you're here" you smiled straddling his lap before kissing his cheek.

"Y/n, you're sure everything's alright?" He questioned pulling you away from him.

"Everything's fine" you lied wiping your tear stained face and capturing his lips in a kiss that he didn't return until you rolled your hips against him.

"Y/n"

"Shh everything's fine" you whispered against his lips as he deepened the kiss.

"I want you" you mumbled rolling your hips wanting to feel Bucky close to you. As close as he could be. Closer than you'd ever been.

"Y/N stop" he pleaded unconvincingly as you felt him growing harder as his grip around you tightened slightly.

"I want to feel you" you begged between kisses. You didn't just want sex, you wanted the intimacy that came with it. The feeling of someone on top of you wrapping their arms around you. The feeling of your bare chest on someone else's. The sound of someone's heart beat increasing as they delved into you. The pillow talk. The idle promises of forever that followed an orgasm. You needed to feel wanted, like he'd never let you go.

Standing up, breaking the kiss, you grabbed Bucky's hand urging him to stand up. When he stood, you led the both of you to your bedroom.

When you walked in, you turned to face him. Glancing down, you could see that he was definitely feeling amorous although his facial expression betrayed him.

"Y/n, are you sure?" He asked.

"Bucky please" you said beginning to pull him to the bed.
As the back of your legs hit the bed, you fell backwards pulling Bucky on top of you. Your kisses turned desperate quickly and Bucky wasn't feeling apprehensive anymore. Sitting up, he quickly stripped himself of his shirt before taking yours off. You got goosebumps feeling his left hand on your skin slowly stripping you. He noticed. Using his other hand, he smoothed over the areas that his metal one had touched. The warmth of his hand was beyond comforting. It was sensual.

When you were both completely undressed, Bucky began leaving opened mouthed kisses on your neck causing you to buck your hips upwards feeling his erect cock. You didn't want the foreplay right now, you just wanted to be filled. Held. Appreciated. Wanted.

"Come on" you urged looking at Bucky as he left your neck to look at you.

"I don't have any pro—" he started before you kissed him whilst reaching down to guide his throbbing manhood to your entrance.

When he entered, he let out a loud groan whilst you shut your eyes tightly just content that he was inside you. He waited for your permission to begin thrusting but you weren't ready yet. This was enough. Just feeling his presence.

"Y/n" he said after a while trying his hardest to wait for your signal. You could feel his member twitching inside you. He wanted you. You gave a lazy smile and a nod granting him permission. He began moving out before thrusting back inside you.

As he penetrated you, the sounds of your skin slapping together, his moans and your pants filled the room. The closer he came to an orgasm, the tighter he held you. It was bliss. Everything was going perfect until be began to pull out completely.

"Y/N, I'm going to cum" he said frantically.

"It's fine it's fine" you reassured pushing his back down.

"No" he said fighting your grip.

The only thing that would make this whole experience a lot better was the feeling of his warm seed spilling inside of you. Why didn't he want that either?

"Stop" you exasperated trying to stop him from pulling out to no avail as you soon felt him ejaculating onto your stomach as his head fell backwards in ecstasy.

Looking up at him, you felt that the whole situation was slightly anticlimactic considering you yourself didn't orgasm but that wasn't the purpose of this. You waited for his high to subside so he'd lay close next to you and hold you longer.

Looking down at you, Bucky's thrilled expression soon changed into a panicked one.

"Y/N you're crying" he said worriedly.

You didn't even realise you'd been crying.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Get off me" you ordered dismissing him with your hand.

Quickly sitting up, you grabbed a towel that was on the floor and cleaned yourself off as Bucky leaned over towards you and kissed your shoulder.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

Were you alright?

You didn't answer his question.

"Please leave" you said not looking at him.

"Y/n"

"Bucky please go" you demanded still not looking at him.

Bucky stood up and put his boxers on before leaning down in front of you, looking into your eyes.

"Y/n have I done something? Please talk to me I'm sorry" he expressed desperately trying to gauge what was wrong.

In all honesty, you felt a plethora of emotions in this moment. Needy, embarrassed, regretful. You wanted to be alone. No. That was the last thing you wanted. You never wanted to be alone again. Why was your own voice double crossing you.

"Bucky go" you vociferated pointing to the door.

Respecting your wishes, Bucky sighed and then exited.

Alone again.