Fear & Desire ❤️‍🔥

The illusionist

Dressed in your usual combat gear, you picked up the vitamins and the water from your bedside table. Swallowing the tablets, you chased them with the water before hearing a knock at the door.

"What?" You replied impolitely knowing it was Loki.

"It's been 10 minutes, time to go" he said opening your door and entering with a smile.

"What gives you the right to just barge in here Loki? Do you not understand that we are not on speaking terms? You can't just barge in here like we're friends. We are not" you asserted causing his smile and confident demeanour to fall.

The atmosphere in the room shifted as the illusion that was Loki's charm, his feelings of self importance, his conviction, all faltered. That was one of the things that was so captivating about Loki, his performance. The illusionist himself disguising any form of vulnerability or weakness as firmness. He looked at you as if he was an abandoned puppy left to fend for itself. The look in his eyes wasn't one you had ever seen.Last time you both fell out, there was that unspoken sorrow on both sides, but this time, there was none of that. Loki was the one in the wrong. He was wrong and he wasn't apologising, he wasn't apologising for what he done, for what you saw. He wasn't apologising and that made you angry.

"Y/N, you have to understand, I was being controlled and my task was to retrieve the tesseract" he tried to explain causing you to roll your eyes.

Still no apology.

"Why my dad? You could have gone to anyone for information, why did you have to go to my dad?" You countered crossing your arms in furious outrage.

"Bec-because he wasn't who you thought he was y/n"
No apology

"No Loki, you are not who I thought you was, how could you do this? You killed him and you haven't even apologised. I don't care if you were being mind controlled. That was my dad Loki. That was my dad" you implored as your voice broke.

"It wasn't me" he argued again as you tuned out his ridiculous explanation. It was him. You saw him do it. You heard his voice. Saw his hands. But they weren't his eyes. It was him, but the Loki on the screen didn't have the eyes that were looking at you right now with so much regret and despair. He looked sorry, why couldn't he just say it?

"Shut up" you shouted throwing your hands in the air.

"Please y/n, look. Whatever it was that you did to me that day I showed you my fears, when you saw the ones I tried to keep buried in my mind, do it again now, look" he pleaded grabbing your hand.

"No Loki" you said retracting it.

"Please" he whispered "you have to understand."

The vulnerability in his voice, his face, his stance, was what made you decide to delve into his mind. You searched and searched until you gasped, you saw it. The endless amount of torture Loki had to endure on Titan. The helplessness. The pain. The fear. You felt it. You felt your heart rate increasing as your breath quickened reaching the realisation that he didn't have a choice. Retracting from his mind, you saw that he had tears brewing in his eyes. Everything you had just seen, just felt, he felt it too, but worse. You wrapped your arms around him embracing him in a tight hug that he instantly returned as he hugged you tighter pulling you as close to him as you possibly could be. Pulling away, you reached up to whisper in his ear.

"I can never forgive you for this."

His expression was a combination of shock and hurt.

"Now, let's go" you ordered before Loki teleported you both to one of the suspected locations.