A story i've been working on for a bit. hope you like :)
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He kissed me and it hurt. It dwelled in every cell of my body, crashing through bones and pounding along my ribcage like a thousand little heartbeats. It hurt so much, that ache for more, the reality of knowing he will have to pull away and we will never speak of this again because alike to this world, we are cruel to ourselves and we never understand what we need until it's too late.
He will leave me. It haunts in every path he traces across my skin, burying his silence and hope and enlightenment between the freckles on my arms, embedding his name and fragrance in the crookedness of my teeth. The side of my brain throbbed with the memories and the presence and the fiction of our future at this moment. In this feverless moment, I let him take me, filled with movements that were everything in the world but reckless. I wondered how anyone who kissed another couldn't believe in the future, because there was a touch of Sandy's lips, and I could picture everything, desperately vivid flashes painted across the warmth of my eyelids.
I cannot stand that flash of another us. The longing and the properness. I could not stand to imagine us choosing to never do this again, to have his soul wrapped through mine, and my soul wrapped through his. How could we be alive at the same time, find each other is this big old earth, and still decide to love with caution?
I pressed him closer. I did not care if I would lose him an hour later, or fifty years down the road. I would breathe in each time I saw him, and ask myself how I got so lucky my parents had loved me enough to put me through this private school. How Sandy got so lucky for his parents to never have loved him enough to spare him from this school so I could meet him.
God, oh God, please. I love him. I am a hollow being if you take the love I have for him.
