Lights Out

Not A Dream...Hopefully

Thursday 25th March.
"TED!"
"Hello, Jessie! That Red Bull kit suits you."
"Why thank you," I grinned.
"Why the beanie? It's media day, I'm not sure you can wear a beanie during interviews."
"Ah, well you're missing the trick here. What do you think, should I show you my hair?"
"Have you dyed it again?"
"Indeed I have."
"Ooh, let's see what you've decided on this time. You youngsters and dyeing your hair."
"I think we should dye you, Crofty, and Martin's hair for charity."
"I have a funny feeling they won't agree to that, but it's a nice idea," he chuckled.
"You ready? You guys ready?" I look at the camera that was pointing towards me.
"I think we're ready."
"Okay then." I pulled off the beanie, my curly hair cascading down in literal gold.
"Wow. Is this indicative of something here, Jessie?"
"Perhaps," I grinned. "I don't know whether I'll keep it for long, but I think the gold suits me."
"I think it does too. Let's hope that you get a podium soon, then."
"Let's hope."
"Are you alright for a quick chat as well? I think we all need to hear from our favourite driver."
"I thought you weren't allowed favourites!"
"Off the record," he smiled.
"You'll get in trouble," I tutted. "I'm up for a chat; anything for my adoring fans," I said, putting emphasis on 'adoring'. Ted laughed before speaking again.
"So, Jessie. We've seen your videos on YouTube over the winter, we've seen the court trials and the news from that, we've seen you smiling on social media again. Are things better now?"
"Yes, they are." It was a lie, but a lie I had to tell. Image was important. "I'm just focussed on racing and my career, and getting a few podiums this season."
"Very glad to hear it. How's your dad?"
"He's holding up, although someone knocked over my mum's gravestone a few weeks ago apparently, but we got a new one put in, so it's all good. He's getting his vaccine soon when the government roll them out to his age group."
"Have you got yours?"
"Yeah, me and some other drivers got them after testing. Get your vaccines!" I pointed to the camera.
"You heard Jessie." Ted turned to face the camera. "Get your vaccines. Anyway, Jessie, we'll leave you. Good luck this weekend."
"Thank you, Ted. I'll see you around."
"Bye, Jessie."

I'd done a few interviews, and was wandering the Paddock in what little free time I had before we were doing track walk.
"Oye, chica!"
"Carlos! Ay, red looks good on you. Ferrari are lucky!"
"The black looks good on you, chica. Red Bull better treat you well. How are you?"
"I'm good, you?"
"I'm great, thanks. A little birdie told me that you have a crush," he said, rolling the 'r's. I sighed in mild annoyance.
"Would this little birdie possibly be Lando? Because he'll be a dead little birdie soon. I don't have a crush, he's just creating drama."
"Ah, my little muppet friend. Yes, it was him. Maybe he does have a poi-"
"Hey, Gaia," I interrupted Carlos, wanting the subject to change. She was sitting on her phone outside of the Haas hospitality. She looked up.
"Oh, hi, Jessie."
"Carlos, this is Gaia De Luca."
"Ah, it's great to have another female driver in the Paddock," he said warmly. "How are you doing?"
"I'm good, thank you. And you?"
"Doing well."
She checked her watch, her eyes widening slightly.
"I'm sorry, I'm late for something. Bye!"
She ran off, leaving Carlos and I standing together. I checked my phone, which I held in my right hand.
"I better be going too," I sighed.
"Duty calls."
"Indeed it does. I'll speak to you later."
"Hasta luego, chica!"

I walked with Hugh, my new race engineer, around the track, discussing scenarios and engine modes, and what corners and sections of track could pose a challenge. Obviously, we didn't have to go through as much as usual because we'd tested at this track, but it was still good to have it all fresh in my mind. I was tired. I'd been up most of the night with nightmares of Julien's hands on my body, and combined with the jet lag that took me out, the end result was absolute exhaustion. On top of that, I'd forgotten the melatonin that us drivers used to get to sleep sometimes. I'd made a note to ask Max or Danny if they had any spare, but for now, energy drinks, a lot of them, were the only things getting me through the day. I heard footfalls behind me and turned to see Harry jogging towards me.
"Not stuck in the garage today then?"
"Nope," he said, popping the 'p'. That was my thing. "Decided to get out and see the scenes."
"Not much to see except tarmac and barriers."
"You're the sight that I came for," he muttered under his breath. I flushed red, assuming that I he didn't intend for me to hear that. I turned my head slightly away from him to the barriers I'd mentioned beforehand so that he couldn't see the pink tint that I could imagine was heavy on my cheeks.
"How are you?" he asked. I cleared my throat, searching for an answer.
"I feel like my bones are vibrating from the sheer amount of caffeine I've consumed."
"That's not too good," he chuckled.
"I know, but oh well," I shrugged. "How are you doing?"
"Good. Very busy, didn't get much sleep last night either because Jas was snoring the entire night."
"I do feel bad that us drivers get our own rooms and you guys don't," I admitted, feeling genuinely like a spoilt child.
"Melatonin is my best friend," he sighed.
"I forgot mine. Just planning on staying awake until sweet unconsciousness takes me."
Harry laughed, making me laugh as well. My phone pinged and I glanced at the screen, seeing a text from Lando.
Nando Lorris: You two lovebirds having fun? God, I can sense the sexual tension from here.
Read 2.13pm
I frowned, glancing up, my eyes searching for the bastard until I finally found him about 50 metres behind us. I stuck my middle finger up at him, seeing him throw his head back and laugh in response.
"What is it?" Harry asked, following my line of sight to my idiot McLaren friend.
"Nothing. Don't worry about it," I mumbled, sighing.
"Okay. I like your hair today, by the way. Not just the gold but it looks really nice."
"Thanks. I couldn't be bothered to put it up today," I said, hoping that I wasn't blushing again. I followed up with a compliment of my own, making him chuckle lightly and rub the back of his neck.
"Okay, fuck it. Jessie, I have something to tell you," he said, looking at the floor.
"Yeah?"
"And I don't want to weird you out or pressure you into saying something because I understand how you might feel about it given your past."
"Okay?" I said, unsure of where this was going. He took a deep breath.
"I like you."
I stopped walking, my eyes wide as I felt heat creep up my face for the third time.
"I-, I-," he stuttered. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sprung that on you I just-, please don't let this change our friendship. I'm still here for you whenever and I-"
"Harry, I-, I don't think I can have this conversation with you right now."
"Jessie, I'm really sorry-"
"Please, just-, I need some space, and-, and time. Um, I've got things to discuss with Hugh. I'll see you around."
I walked forwards briskly, almost tripping over my own feet. I didn't look behind me. I knew he was still standing there.
"You alright?" Hugh asked. "You look a bit flustered."
"I'm fine. Anything else to discuss?"
"Uh, yeah."